“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6:25-34
My prayer the last month has been, “God, please get me excited about this. I want to want this.”
I’m a fervent preacher of living as disciples and sacrificing our wants and needs for the Lord, yet here I was, feeling like a victim of God’s calling, angry that he was leading me to something I didn’t want.
The moment came to live out the saying, “practice what you preach,” and I failed. Miserably.
So as I wrestled, I was confronted with God’s promises. Do I really believe them?
All the times I told friends, family, and youth kids that living for the Lord is the only place you find abundant life, do I really believe that?
In Matthew, Jesus is telling us not to worry. Don’t worry about your food or clothes, and while my concern with the World Race isn’t about food or clothes, I think Jesus is just as easily talking about our daily needs, and for me, my daily comforts.
To sum up my internal dilemma is this: do I truly believe that living solely with him and being reliant on Him is enough? Deep down I struggle to trust that having him and him alone is really better than a comfortable, working-class, family-close-to-me life, where I walk with God but do so according to my preference and choosing.
To make me feel better about these thoughts, I don’t think I’m the only Christian in this boat…otherwise we’d all be Apostle Pauls.
But being rooted in Scripture and reading what God says is what keeps me moving forward. Even in my “little faith,” I know from his word that yes, he and he alone is and always will be better.
And answering my prayer from earlier, God has never ceased to help me live and trust what he promises.
Psalm 19 tells us “the law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul…more to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.”
As he has commanded us to “go and make disciples,” I trust that living according to that charge is reviving. That loving God with all my heart, soul and mind is where the life we all want and imagine is found.
