I have been dwelling on some of these thoughts for the past couple days so I decided to share them. Here they are:
“All I’m saying is, if you say your hair is too “poofy”-then your future daughter is gonna think HER hair is, “too poofy too”. And if you say, “my thighs are too fat” then she’ll think her thighs are too fat. Hear me!…Your words have so much influence. There is power in the things you say about yourself. Please think next time, before you make some stabbing remark about yourself. Those comments do not ONLY effect you. Think before you degrade how you dress, or how you talk, or what you look like, or where you’re from. Even if “you’re just joking”—when you open your mouth, you might just be affecting the next generation.”
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Self hatred isn’t what God wants. I struggle with it a lot. Sometimes, it seems to literally be the only thing I can think.
“Julia-why can your brain not figure this out? This should be simple.”
“How come your legs are that size?”
“Please stop talking-it’s annoying everyone.”
“Julia, sit in the back because they might not want you here.”
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These are legitimately things I’ve thought (recently.)
When I preach “stop hating yourself” I’m NOT saying shove down your feelings because they’re not valid. False.
They are valid. They just simply are not true.
My constant struggle with self hatred looks like fighting what I feel so that I can align with the truth.
What’s the truth?
Whatever God says about me.
-That I’m a daughter.
-I’m made to worship.
-I’m supposed to laugh and have fun.
-I’m allowed to cry.
-And I’m worthy of a good friend.
Also a lot more.
I’m still figuring it out.
It’s hard.
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It’s through this struggle that I keep being reminded about how my comments don’t just effect me.
Knowing this, helps me to get my eyes of myself a little more and focus on what’s important.
just a short tid bit of my current state.
Thanks for reading!
Jules
