One time when I was like, 13 I went to a Christian concert and lifted my hands during worship.
“Wow Julia, big whoop”
Yeah, it really was. Because that was the first time I remember being like, “wow. This is freaking amazing.”
And so then, I got a guitar for Christmas and looked up “how to play guitar for dummies” on YouTube. I didn’t ever think I would really be interested in worship, let alone leading it. But what The Lord started, he will bring to fruition and that’s kind of what’s happening now.
God has called me a worshipper too many times since being on the race. (even before the race really.) I tried to recall some memories of what that has been like for me. Turns out, there were a lot! So here are just a few:
One was at training camp. I remember a girl got really sick due to a food allergy. They called the ambulance and began to pray over this girl. Immediately the Lord spoke to my heart, ”Julia, lead these people in a song right now”. And then I said, “Lord, I would look so stupid! There’s chaos all around and I don’t want to draw attention to myself!” I tried convincing other people to sing with me but everyone just kinda starred blankly. So I didn’t do it. Five minutes later a group was singing loudly and praying over her in the corner. Just i was about to feel the most defeated, God said, “it’s not about you. They’re gonna worship me regardless. But I really love you and I want you to be apart of it. Will you?” So then I went and joined in.
Another time, we were in Ecuador leading a Beauty for Ashes conference with women at our ministry sight. I had planned to share a song, so I decided to learn it in Spanish. After we all sang together one of the women looked at me and asked if I could play it in English. Confused, I was like “yeah, sure!” So I did. And all of the women started crying. Then God said, “I can minister to so many people through you. It’s not about all your efforts. It’s about people who are lost being found.”
The last one I’ll tell happened most recently. Our squad leader asked my teammate Caela and I to be worship coordinators on our squad. We were both pumped! But right off the bat, I found myself getting so drained and frustrated at planning. I felt like nothing was going right and I was annoyed at God for “forcing” me into this position. (The reality is I chose it). Anyways, one day after morning worship session was done I decided I had had enough. I stood up out of my seat, and filled with angst and pride, marched to tell my leader I didn’t want this position anymore. I got 3 feet away from her, when one of the base mentors literally cut me off in my tracks and said, “hey, thank you for leading this morning. You are really a worshipper. You are a worship leader. Don’t doubt that.” Then I went and quite literally pouted to God. Thankfully, my God is a really loving and patient dad. Over the course of that week, God said, “I didn’t ask you to try really hard until you feel like you get it perfect. This is what it looks like to truly rely on the Holy Spirit. Julia, you don’t need to have all the strength to declare banners over my people. Actually, you can have no strength at all and still worship! I love you. Hope in me. Put your trust in me. I’m doing a good thing in you”.
I know, that was a lot of stories. Thanks for reading them.
I don’t really know what I’m doing after the race. But I know that I want to step into what God is doing, and he calls me a worshipper.
Thanks for reading!
Jules
