For the past week or so, I have been struggling with trusting in the Lord and seeing that he loves me and cares for me. It has been hard for me to see this because my varicose veins on my knee have been hurting off and on. I didn’t really identify this early on, but I would have a high moment of seeing God work and show himself greatly in Peru and at the same time I would then have a low moment and question God about why he hasn’t healed my leg yet. For me, it has been really hard to see God’s moving hand through healing when I have prayed so much for him to heal me. It was about 2 weeks ago at an activation day where everyone in the squad paired up in two’s. We were to listen for the Spirit and speak truth and life into the other person about what the Holy Spirit had for them. I paired up with Mac and she saw a picture that contained several ups and downs and then it leveled off on an up. This really encouraged me a lot for it gave a display of what I had been feeling like for the past month. In that moment, I felt God say to me, “I love you and I know the things that you are going through. You are not alone.” Perspective hit me a bit.
Even if God doesn’t choose to heal my leg and stop the uncomfort, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me or that he doesn’t care for me. He is good and he does love me. I need to trust him through all times in my life. I can’t stop trusting when times get hard, for that is when I will grow the most. For God is all I need and he alone is enough. I don’t need God and something else, but only God.
