I’ve spent 2 months sitting in coffee shops, hammocks, my bedroom, and even the bathtub trying to write this blog, and it had FINALLY come.
After I got accepted back in January I was ecstatic and spent the next few months fundraising and working 30 plus hours a week to raise money for this crazy adventure God is sending me on. Between working and trying to have a social life, I never really took time to process that I would be gone for 9 months, away from my family, my church and Minnesota…my home. These past couple of weeks I’ve finally had time to get my gear. While getting fitted for my 65 L pack with my dad in REI, I broke into tears. Not just because I realized that that would be my closet for 9 months, but because it got real. Like super real.
I have never liked admitting fear, but oh Lord am I scared. Psalm 56:3 says,”When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” I use this verse all of the time when I need to comfort others, but when when I direct it towards myself, it is definitely hard to hear. I know that God is so good and he wouldn’t be sending me on this trip if he didn’t think I could handle it.
This blog is NOT me saying I do not want to go, not by a long shot. This blog is just so show that change is scary, to express my emotions and be totally open. Going on the World Race is what I am called to do and I am going to put my whole heart and soul into everything I do in the countries I go to. NOTHING can stop me. The enemy is a liar, he comes to steal, kill and destroy. He has NO say in ANYTHING I do. CAN I GET AN AMEN!
Jesus’s disciples left everything they had to follow Christ. They left their families, their homes, everything they knew they left. They were probably more terrified than I am right now, I know they were. But we as Christians are disciples of God, and each one of us serves him in our own way. Some are called to be doctors, teachers, moms, dads, veterans, and some of us are called to be missionaries. God has a plan for all of us. 2 Timothy 1:9 says,”Who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.” And I believe that 100%.
Stay tuned for my Training Camp blog! I will be in Atlanta Georgia from July 10th-20th. Please pray and keep me in your hearts.
xoxo Joey Filo
