Two weeks ago I was sick. The sickest I have been in a while. This second go-around for the Race has been a little tougher on my physical health. In South Africa, I got an infection on my arm. In Zimbabwe, I got sick in a way that knocked me down pretty good for two days, then ongoing weakness, fatigue, and discomfort for the following week. And now again, this infection on my arm has become a problem. Even today, I am recovering from another evening of sickness where I could barely keep any food down. Super random and completely unlike me. I almost NEVER get sick, but for some reason sickness has been a thing in my life lately. A little bit of a bummer, but nothing super serious or overly concerning.
Jumping back to my illness in Zimbabwe… let me give you a little bit (but not too much) of a picture. It was nearly 100* outside EVERY DAY. We would walk 5-7 miles per day between youth ministry activities at the schools, and then play soccer in the evenings. Our bodies were pushed, stretched, and tired. We slept inside of a house that was honestly probably hotter than it was outside. So, imagine waking up inside of a tent (indoor tenting, because malarial mosquitos), and feeling a pit in your stomach, difficulty standing up or even difficulty sitting up, fever, body aches, and feeling like death in a few other ways. Not so great. After hours of ongoing episodes of being sick and feeling no relief, I went to the doctor at an urgent care clinic, and was then sent home with antibiotics. I was relieved that the doctor did not suspect malaria, but I still remained EXTREMELY uncomfortable as I slept in a tent, in >100* weather, along with sweating out a 100.4 fever. And to add to it, most of my teammates were in town taking care of tasks or off doing ministry activities. As I said earlier, not so great. And this is where the moment happened, the moment that I never experienced on my Race last year. The moment where I wished I was back in my parent’s home, in an air conditioned room, laying on a cozy bed, being cared for by my mama, watching a movie, and dying in comfort. In those moments when I was suffering (I know I am being overly dramatic here), I did not have any movie to watch, or television to zone out into. I did not have music on my phone to listen too, all of my podcasts were completed, and I had no WiFi to stream my Bible app or anything. I laid there feeling sick, alone, sad, sick, and miserable. I did the only thing I knew to do, I cried out to Jesus. Of course I was praying that He would heal me in that moment, but I also prayed for relief. When instant relief from my discomfort did not come, I sighed, maybe cried a little, and then began to recite scripture that I had memorized throughout my life. In those moments, I had nothing else to hold onto other than the Word of God that had been planted in my heart, both from recent years and from years past. I found myself singing scripture songs from back when I was a little girl in church clubs and church choir. And the Lord used it to minister to me in the sweetest way. He reminded me that He was so near and present and with me in that moment. He reminded me that He was all I needed, and that He would take care of everything else. His Spirit comforted me and sustained me. And then I was given the sweetest gift, I drifted off to sleep after hours of tossing and turning. And praise the Lord, my fever broke and I continued to heal the next morning!
I was reminded of the powerful truth that Jesus is alive. He is near. He is a Comforter. He loves me deeply, and will care for me and comfort me better than anything of this earth. None of the earthly comforts I wanted in those moments were bad, but none compare to Jesus himself. I have to stir myself up and preach the truth to my heart sometimes, especially the moments when I am not feeling like myself. Especially when I am in a circumstance that I desperately want to escape. I encourage you to cry out to the Lord. When you are uncomfortable, heartbroken, sick, lonely, or afraid, cry out to Jesus. Put your trust in Him and see how He answers. Watch what happens when fear has to leave and the great Comforter meets you in that space.
