At my going away party before I left for the Race, friends and family were given the opportunity to stand and say a few words to me.
My loved ones stood. Said their sweet “see you laters” and words of love and encouragement.
But something stood out to me that I never realized before.
Almost all the women that said something, started off with:
“I’m jezie’s 2nd mama, I took care of her since she was a few months old” -(my mama Veronica)
“I’m jezies Nina, who also helped raise her” (Nina Patty)
“I’m ALSO jezie’s mom/friend” (inside joke) *cough* Priscilla.
“Wow, Jezie has a lot of mothers!” Said my real mom.
I looked up and laughed at the beautiful picture the Lord was showing me.
The village it took to raise me.
I didn’t always have my father in my life, but man did the Lord bless me with a plethora of powerful women throughout all my years.
It was starting to make sense.
Let me explain:
As I was prepping for this journey, there was a word that was spoken over me that I never expected to hear:
The word, “Mother”
This didn’t make sense.
Was I going to be a mother? (Highly unlikely. Like nearly impossible lol)
Learn how to be?
I’m not nurturing.
How will that look?
I don’t see it.
Those are the thoughts that came in, but different people all said the same thing. It was weird. But I believed them.
What these strangers said were this,
“The Lord is showing me that you are like a mother. You will be a mother of nations.” – cute little stranger off the street at a fundraising sale I had last year.
“I see you like a mother. Everywhere you go, people will find you as a place of safety and healing where they can come to.” – another stranger idk where
“The Lord is showing me the word “mother”. You are healing and care for them.” – my sweet Squad leader, Han, the first day we met at launch.
I was clearly not going to be a physical mother. The Lord was showing me that he was going to shift my perception of what I thought it meant to be a mother, and let alone a woman.
Before I speak any further, I want to make it clear that I am not equating motherhood to womanhood.
I believe that Women are fully women whether they desire, can’t or choose to have children at all.
Not being a mom does not make you any less of a woman.
I’m only speaking on what God is showing me through the skewed lens I had.
Ok.
So, I had a false perception of what a nurturer was.
The first thing that people think of when they hear the word “mother” is a nurturer. And I think this is true, for any parent (male or female). It becomes your instinct to want to care for and nurture your child. And because I didn’t see myself as the loving, affectionate and caring person I saw other girls as, I thought “welp, I hope my future husband is that way because I don’t think ill be whenever and if I ever become a mom. I’ll be the chill, fun and wise kind.”
However, I didn’t truly look at what that word embodied.
If you look up the word, nurture, it means this:
1. To Care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing.
2. Help or encourage the development of.
3. Cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition)
You see, I thought the Lord was telling me that I was going to learn how to be a more sensitive, tender, affectionate and “girly” person.
While some of those are true, He is showing me much more than that. Revealing to me more about qualities that I already held as a woman, but am growing into more of.
Our team does a thing called super feedback where we all give each other a positive feedback and a constructive feedback.
It’s great stuff. We love to sharpen and call each other higher here.
Anyways, my friend Kaylin wrote something for my positive feedback that explained exactly what the Lord is showing me about the woman I am growing into as a “mother”.
Here’s what she wrote:
“Jezie, you really do embody a motherlike character. You automatically connect the “mother-like” person as a nurturer. True. But she’s so much more than that. A mother teaches right from wrong, a mother teaches truth, a mother rejoices when her child accomplishes something. A mother gets excited with her daughter at the thoughts of boys, love and marriage, but she also speaks wisdom into caring for your heart. She teaches you how to be strong and to stand on your own two feet and she always protects and defends.”
Gold.
I knew right away that the Lord was speaking to me through her. I cried and finally accepted it.
I am a defender for the oppressed and the voiceless.
I cary wisdom from the Lord.
I am a teacher.
I am an encourager.
I am caring in my actions and counsel more than my affection and that’s ok. That doesn’t mean I am not good enough as a “woman”.
I am a listening ear.
I am a friend who loves to help people reach their dreams and best self.
I am a place of safety.
I am a pool of healing.
I am a mother.
…of nations.
I’m so thankful for this timely revelation, SO now I’d really just love to write an ode to all the women God has used to “mother” me into the woman I am today. Whether they are biologial mom’s or not, these women nurtured me to the full extent of it’s definition.
First and foremost, to the best woman I know:
My mum. <3
Mum, it would take me a million years to show my gratitude. To thank you for your sacrifice. Instilling the unwavering fear of the Lord in my heart. Being the strongest woman I know. For loving me unconditionally. For teaching me to be wise instead of just smart (you’ve saved me from a lot of unnecessary mistakes & heart-ache). For being my biggest supporter. For trusting me. For freedom. For being as independent as I am. For being my best friend. For being insanely goofy. For being a prayer warrior. For being my biggest defender and for making sure you gave me nothing but the best life. Let me tell you, from across the world in a coffee shop in Armenia; I am living my best life. All thanks to you. The biggest thing I am thankful for, though, is your trust in the Lord, especially over my life. We always knew He had wild dreams for me. The world isn’t as scary as people think it is, so thank you for your blessing as I follow the Lord in everything I do, no matter how big, crazy, and wild it is. I hope you’re proud of me. You are my world.
Mama Veronica.
My 2nd mama. I actually only call her mama, not even Veronica. My care taker since before I could walk in your shoes (literally). Thank you for being a place of care and love. For all the hugs and smothering kisses. I don’t know anyone as affectionate as you are, and it’s a beautiful gift. Thank you for picking me up from school everyday. For all the amazing home-cooked meals. For making me feel special. You always used to say, “The Lord didn’t bless me with a girl of my own, but I love you like a daughter”, and it is truly an honor to be your changa-bell.
Nina Patty
My sugar mama. My partner in party crime. Thanks for all the fun adventures. The undying love and support for my future. It’s like you knew that the Lord had big things for me too. Thank you for being a helper. For giving so much of your time and recourses. Your heart is so kind. And you have an intelligent mind. I know that you are a place of safety and no judgement. You make me feel like your favorite god-daughter every time (even though I know you have more 😉
BMF (Best Mother Friend)
That’s right. Mother friend. Agh, even though you are a friend and confidant to me above all. You have taught me how to be loved and adored and asking nothing in return. You have a beautiful love that doesn’t require anything from the other person. You just love. Thank you for allllll the laughs. For not caring how loud we are in any room. I knew you before you were a mother and knew that you would be the best mom when it was time. The way you care for me. Protect me. And support me. You took me in to your family when I needed it most and I’ll eternally be grateful for the role you played in my faith as a young, hurting teen. I love you deeeeeply. – your Best Daughter Friend.
Cheryl
You’ve also seen me grow up for my entire life. You embody loyalty and faithfulness. I love the way that you care for others like they are your own children. I hope you know how loved you are by me and my family. You made sure we all made it to youth camp and encouraged us in our faith. You also were there for support in our (many) times of loss and grief. You care in your actions more than anything and that speaks volumes to me because it is also how I love. Spending time over coffee and talking about the deep stuff is always a special time for me. It is filled with the Holy Spirit, which is something you are filled with.
Pastor Barbara
You were my first teacher to inspire me about the nations and the children of the world. The first to point out my strong belief and dedication to the Lord. Thank you for making Sunday school so fun. Most of my memories of you were when I was little, trying to be the top of the class, singing in all the plays and playing with puppets. However, I am so thankful that you get to see me as a woman. It’s so cool to be your friend, but I’ll always be a learner. Especially in the hands of powerful wisdom and spiritual gifting like yours. Your are a powerful woman of prophecy, discernment & encouragement.
Pastor Linda
My spiritual mom. Your obedience to God and his calling over your life, your marriage and to your family is an inspiration to me. I only hope to be half as obedient as you are. You and your husband pushed and encouraged me to live out my calling in this world as well. You speak with confidence, grace and wisdom. Thank you for showing me what serving the Lord with your entire being looks like. What being a partner in ministry and in life should be. Thank you for all the long hugs and joy you bring. You raised your own kids wonderfully, and look how much they influenced my life. I am a follower of Christ because of your families mentorship and care. That means everything.
Lastly, to my new and most recent mama’s all over the world. Thanks for showing me that love, devotion and wisdom transcends language & cultural barriers. I am more like Jesus in the way he cared for people, and strangers, because of you.
Colombian mama, Cristina.
Inidian mama, Grace.
my nepalese mama.
Happy (belated) Mother’s day to all you moms and women who are “mothering” in any form to anyone and anything.
You rule the world.
Love,
Jezebelle
