Hi hello, yes I’m still here!
It’s crazy that it’s already been over 2 months since I wrote my first blog post with the big news. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that (if that’s how you feel). April was a busy month and well, it’s about time that I update you all on a few things!
First off, I just want to thank EVERYONE who’s been supportive in this time so far! Your prayers, encouragement and your donations are what keep me going – literally, physically and spiritually. With that said: I am more than halfway to my FIRST fundraising goal! I have $1,500 left to get there in the next 2 months and I have full confidence that God will make it happen! (FYI: Below are the dates/goals I must reach) Second, our training dates have been finalized and I leave to Georgia for training camp on August 7th to finally meet my teammates whom i’ll be traveling & doing ministry with for those 11 months!
1st goal – July 20th: $5,000
2nd goal – September 21st: $10,000
3rd goal – November 30th: $13,000
Fully funded: January 31st, 2019
It’s funny though… I say I have the confidence that He can make that little amount happen, but when I look ahead at the following months and deadlines of what I have to reach, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t loads of doubt and lies that come in my head that tell me that I won’t make it. However, during these months of raising support, i’m being constantly reminded of the very nature of who God is and how HE is faithful with the little and the big.
I like to share stories & here’s one that makes me smile:
Last month, I was by myself on a fairy in New York and it was super cold and windy, so I went downstairs to get a hot chocolate because y’know, hot chocolate is always a good idea. The cashier informed me that they didn’t take credit cards for purchases under $10, and I wasn’t carrying any cash so I went back upstairs. (This girl is still in the college mentality and was not about to spend more than $10 just for a hot chocolate and food I didn’t want). Plus, I didn’t really need it, so I gave up on that and went back up to the dock. A few minutes later, a guy asked a couple nearby if they could watch his stuff so he could go downstairs to get a drink. The couple denied, so I offered to watch it for him. I know I know! The safe thing would have been to say no, but i’m a little too trusting and simply don’t think that way (sorry moms). When the nice young man returned, he had two drinks in his hand. He bought me a HOT CHOCOLATE as a thank you! In that moment all I could think of was, “wow, God. Only you (and the cashier) knew that I wanted this little cup of hot chocolate, and you made it happen through this stranger.” I was one happy, and a little less freezing, californian.
While this story doesn’t touch the surface of the grandiose things that God does to meet our needs and wants, it’s moments like this that challenge my faith and slap me in the face. There are many more stories like this that I can share about how God has provided, but the point is: God is telling me, “Jezie! You see how I provide in these little ways for things that aren’t that important…Imagine if you trusted me with the big things. The miracles so big that only I specialize at. The things that I care about that you so happen to care about too. Imagine how much more I want and can make that happen.”
It’s hard. These months have been hard, hence my tendency to slip away from reality and stay quiet while I try to get out of my head full of thoughts that tell me I can’t raise this money, or that He doesn’t want to (because I definitely believe He is powerful enough), that I don’t have enough support, and even more dangerously: that I can do this all on my own. Ha!
So here I am. Returning from the dark corner of my never-ending, noisy mind and choosing to have faith in my big God. Choosing to run with action from the encouragement of my beautiful church community. Choosing to face my fears with God first, not me. I’m still so grateful and excited for the progress i’ve made and the support to come. I promise to share this part of the journey more with you, because this is the scary part. People ask me if i’m nervous about leaving for the Race and I tell them honestly, “no”. I am insanely excited for it. This part scares me more. The before. The process. The details. The planning. The asking. I want to just go. But that’s not how it works. And I thank God for this time to grow in what I am weak at. It’s going to be a time of growing in faith, working hard for what I want by surrendering my pride, and trusting Him and letting go so that He can do the rest and do what He does best: proving Himself as the only way and bring us to our knees to worship Him!
Thank you for reading this long & overdue update. I am making it a goal to blog more, especially as more fundraising opportunities come up. I love y’all so much! As always, pray for me & let me know how I can pray for you too!
Love,
Jezebelle
Pictured: Fairy. Wind. Not pictured: my delicious hot chocolate.
