In these past 3 months, I haven’t felt too many nerves aside from our initial launch. Once we hit the ground running in Colombia, I have been no less than thrilled for every new day we have gotten. Even on 30 plus hour bus rides, the joy of the Lord was just overflowing from every fiber of my being.
But now, things feel a little different.
I’m not sure if it’s the drastic culture shift, the week long travel, or just the fact that it’s gonna be so stinking hot, but I have found it harder to find joy in this leg of the venture. Old lies are coming back about feeling unworthy, unequipped, and weak; lies that I conquered back in Colombia. For some reason going to India feels like launching for the World Race all over again, and suddenly I feel helpless again.
Don’t get me wrong, it has been my dream to go to India for so much of my life. The culture and the people have always fascinated me and I am thrilled to get to see it first hand, but a little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I am not truly prepared for how much work we have to do in India.
While on our plane to Dubai however, in the middle of my Spotify shuffle, God reminded me of His truth. Loud and clear He spoke to my spirit and said “I have so much promise for you”, and after that, He said “Flowers are blooming in India, and you get to pick them”.
And this was such a beautiful reminder I didn’t even know I needed.
By nature of where we are going, this month is going to be a lot more difficult than our months in South America for a handful of reasons, but I have faith that God has cultivated the soil for us in India, so that when we get there, the time will be just right to plant seeds. I have faith that God will guide us throughout this month to find the flowers that are ready to be picked, and to plant new flowers in fertile soil.
I also know that God is going to grow me in big ways this month.
I have learned a lot about sacrifice and leaning on the Lord during ministry these past few months, but overall, we were never really pushed out into the raging waters and told to have faith and walk. This month is going to be that month, but you know what, I am so ready for it. I am ready to leave the comforts and let God fully take control of our time in India. I am finally ready to put all of my hopes and fears into His hands. I am finally ready to press into His presence in ways I never had before, because I know that I cannot survive India on my strength alone, and I’m ready to meet God in the middle and let Him fill me up with His strength.
Knowing this, I finally have peace about India. I know God what God has promised me and I’m ready to truly jump in the river and let it sweep me away. God has been so good to me these past few months by teaching me how to lean on Him step by step, and now that I have these past few months of experience, He is finally taking the training wheels off, and even though it’s scary, I trust that no matter what happens, God will still be with me every step of the way.
