If you have been reading my blogs then you know that at launch I received a key on a necklace that had the word “HIS” engraved on it. This key was one that I purchased not knowing what word would be on it. The man I bought it from asks the Lord for a word for you when you buy it and then engraves it on the key. When I read it for the first time the first thought that came to mind was “classic, of course I get a key that says HIS.”
Some backstory for you, the Lord has been taking me on an Identity journey for the last four years. He has been revealing to me bits and pieces of the unique human he created me to be. So when I received my HIS key I was not surprised by what it said. Something I have struggled with my whole life has been my worth. I have struggled with not feeling chosen, beautiful, delicate, lovely, good enough, clean, and pure. So to wrap that all in one word, I have struggled with not feeling HIS. This has led me to believe many lies about who I am. Which is why the Lord has been sweetly working through my true identity over the last few years.
What is funny is that I thought I was entering the race, having worked through all the identity things. I thought the race was going to start a new chapter of learning new things from the Lord. I was not entirely wrong but I was for sure not right. So far he has shown me that I will actually never be fully done learning about myself because I will always be growing and changing. He has shown me that I now can recognize a lie from the truth, which is huge because now that I can name the lies for myself I can start to combat them with truth. He has shown me that the only way for me combat them fully is to speak them out loud to trusted people. These are all things that I learned in the first three months of the race. I would wear my key as often as I could and was cherishing learning more about what it meant to be HIS.
Then Bolivia happened. We were living on the boat and it was so hot that I did not want anything touching me so I didn’t wear my key hardly at all. This was the Lord getting me used to not wearing it because He was preparing me to give it away. My team also had the opportunity to get tattoos together while we were in Bolivia. While there I got the word “Beloved” tattooed in my Dad’s handwriting. I didn’t know it at the time but this was part of the Lord preparing me to give my key away. This word, beloved, means one that you dearly love. I got it in my Dad’s handwriting because he is the Lord’s first picture of what a father’s love should look like my life. He was the first one to show me what it means to be dearly loved.
About three days before we were leaving the boat he told me that I was to give my key to, my Fiercely Loved teammate, Megan. At first I brushed it off as if I didn’t hear him. I told the lord it was too soon, I was not done learning about what being HIS fully meant for me. He sweetly and gently told me that I would never be done learning all that it means, but he wanted me to give it to Megan so that she could start to learn about being HIS as well. He also showed me that He gave me an opportunity to get my Beloved tattoo to give me a permanent reminder of HIS love for me. So even though everything in me didn’t want to give it away, I did. We both cried and it was a beautiful moment.
Now backtrack to a couple years ago, I was living in Buena Vista, Colorado and my 20 somethings group learned about Identity Statements. An Identity Statement is a written statement from the Lord about who he says you are. Part of mine is that, I am HIS GOLD KEY. He calls me this because He has created me to help unlock doors and chains for other people. He has called me to impart freedom to others. Because of this I have been thinking for a little over a year about getting a key tattoo as a reminder of who the Lord created me to be. When we were in Nepal, the Lord told me it was time. I knew that I was going to get a tattoo in Nepal but I didn’t know it would be my key till we got there.
This key is intricately designed and topped with a crown. It is a reminder to me that first I am royalty because I am a daughter of the king. Second that I am intricately designed and made of gold, the most precious metal. He did not make any mistakes. He crafted me in gold because when gold is thrown into the fire it is purified and refined. He uses that to remind me that I will continually be refined and purified through HIS fire. Third, I am created to unlock doors and chains because of the freedom I have been given through Christ. I am free because of the work He did on the cross and rising from the grave. I am free and have been free since I said yes to Jesus, but I didn’t live like it until coming on the race. With finding the freedom I have been given, I can now help people find it for themselves as well. My prayer is that I can continue to live and walk in the freedom I have been given. That I can remember everyday who the Lord created me to be and that I can impart freedom onto the people who cross my path.
