Hello! My name is, Isiah Smith. I’m 23 years old. Born and raised in Oklahoma. I graduated in 2012 from Charles Page High School. Then eventually went to bible school and just graduated from bible school in may of 2017!
I want to be very blunt.
In 2013 my life radically changed. God found me in one of if not the darkest place in my life. Their is no way to describe how lost I thought I was to how lost I actually was. Thank God for his saving Grace, man. He’s sooooo good, man. When I don’t know what to say in my life, when I don’t know what to do. I just thank God that HE is GOOD. Growing up I didn’t have a Dad. It was my mother and I. My whole life it was my mother and I. I had other family that was in my life. Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle. But every night it was my mom and I at home at the end of the night. When I was about 16 (junior in highschool) my mom met this man. I will just say he wasn’t the greatest man to have in your life. He wasn’t abusive, physically or emotionally or mentally or verbally. He actually barely talked to me. But one thing he did do was draw my mother away from me. Well for me that was detrimental, here I am 16 and my mom wont pay attention to me. The guy she is with doesn’t even talk to me. It was kind of like well, what about Isiah? Eventually, I moved out because they moved 2 hours away from where I grew up. So, I decided to move into my grandma’s house so I could continue in the school I was brought up in. Well fast forward a little bit. September 1st, 2012. Sand Springs Vs Sapulpa (second biggest football rivalry in state.) Sand Springs (my hometown) beat Sapulpa. This was a year after I graduated. But naturally, after a high-school football game. There are going to be parties. I had never really been to a party before. In high-school, I never did drugs nor drank alcohol. It’s the year after my senior year and I get invited to a party. I said heck why not, better than going home and self-loathing. Somehow someway marijuana ended up being was right in front of my face. I thought shoot WHY NOT, my dad was never there and momma don’t love me anymore, WHO CARES. That one night didnt just open the door. It ripped the door down and made a gate. At this time, I’m a freshman in college at the local community college. Going to school in the morning, working during the day and smoking weed at night till I don’t know which way is up and down. Wash, rense, repeat for the next two years. But during that two year journey.
I met someone in January of 13′. This woman had me from the moment I saw her. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, never had sex with a girl. This girl took all of that. When I tell you I was head over heels, I mean the sun rose in her eyes. Like every couple, we had our issues. Come to find out she had cheated on me 3 times. Somehow, I knew there was better for me out there and I decided to end the relstionship. BUT I WAS B R O K E N. The two women in my life had completely abandoned me for other men. It was a awful feeling, man. Not knowing anyone loves you. Not knowing anyone cares for you. Especially, the people you invested in the most. It’s an awful thing to be thrown away like that.
Naturally, that led to more and more and more sin with addition of pornography. I can remember the very day I sat in my bed and contemplated my life. That exact same day, a friend called me and asked if I would go hoop with him (play basketball). What intrigued me about the phone call and wanting to meet up is. He posted scripture in his twitter. We got to the court and he starts talking about Jesus. I’m over here like WHAT? Bro, you partied with me last month and we got high together. Why are you talking about Jesus? He said ” Man I don’t know everything, but come to church it’ll get you right”
(Sidenote: God is good isnt he? He planted a seed by just saying come to church. God can do SO MUCH when we just put forth the effort and act and let him do the work. We just gotta speak. He is the one who convicts and draws people to himselfy by his spirit. We just having to be willing and obedient we dont have to know it all.)
My first day in church I’ve been broke up with my girl for about 3 months and my mom has a 10 month old with the guy she married. I can remember the preacher talk about how God has better for you! Whatever you just got out off God has better for you. Believe and trust in him and have faith! For months all I hearf was HAVE FAITH THAT GOD CAN DO IT. TRUST IN HIM DON’T RELY ON YOUR FEELINGS AND YOUR THOUGHTS. His thoughts are higher than ours. So, I said WHY NOT. I mean I got nothing else to live for.
We had a confernece at church called “Culture Shock”. The day before the last day. My mom sat me down in the front room and told me that my baby sisters father gave her meth and that she is in the hospital. I was in shock, the only thing I could tell my mom was you HAVE TO HAVE FAITH THAT E V E R Y T H I N G. Is going to be okay. I have no idea what I was taking about. I was just telling her what the preacher told me. I didn’t know what to say, That’s all I could say. I remember that conversation like it wad yesterday… You know when you tell someone something and you can literally see them both listening. Like they hear you, but your words are going in one ear and out the other. That was my mom that night. No faith, just a blank face and worry and panic.
So the last day at the culture shock conference. The preacher told us to surrender yourself to Jesus. How he told us to do that was to jump and down screaming Jesus name. So that’s what we did for about 10 minutes. Here I am, a COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY LOST jumping up and down screaming Jesus name. At this point I’m done, I’m ready to leave and smoke a dubbie. The preacher starts going around the room laying hands on everyone. Everyone shaking and falling out on the floor. I AM WITH IT. Please change my life, let me know you’re real God. I’m lost as I need you. He finally gets to me and lays hands on me. I felt absolute nothingness. I was so upset, man. Here I am AGAIN. Putting my trust into something. Once again I get let down. I stand back up then out of nowhere this guy comes up behind me and ask if he can pray with me. He started to speak in tongues and then he said ” No matter what is going on with your family. Know everything is going to be okay because you had faith when no one else did. At first it tripped me out because I was like how do you know what’s going on in my life? As clear as you can see this with your eyes. I saw the conversation with my mom and how my words went in one ear and out of the other. That moment I broke down and cried and cried like a baby.
God saw me, he answered my prayers, he cares for me. What’s amazing to me is, not once in my life did I reconigze Jesus as Lord of my life until I started going to church. What touched me is that we serve a God that is ready to forgive and let you know he is with you .That moment is the most liberating moment I’ve had in my life. That is the moment I came to know Christ .
I share my story with you because this is the message you are helping being preached across the world. I didn’t deserve it, I deserve the opposite. But he is good! He is love! He first loved us so we can freely love others. That one night, Jesus became reality to me. I want to be apart of Jesus becoming reality to people! I want themto experience that same agape love that I experienced. This trip, it isn’t about me. It’s about God and him being glorified! Him being magnified and being lifted up! Without him nothing exist, everything was created by and for him. Everyone has a right to know what has been done for them on calvary. Everyone deserves to know that they are eternally and compleltely and absolutely loved JUST they way they are. Nothing is better than that… You can’t top KNOWING and BELIEVING and EXPERIENCING God’s LOVE for yourself. It can’t be outdone. Knowing him, glorifying him, praising him, worshipping him, loving him, nothing can even begin to compare to that.
“How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?”
-Romans 10:14
