Say no to porn, say no to lust, say no to temptation….
I know by reading this it looks too deep to post on social media. But sometimes the deepest darkest secrets need to be heard and read. But before I dig deep into the juicy details, I would like to share what God had on my heart the past couple days…..
God gave me a word for that day and it was FREEDOM!!! How he showed me was, when I was on the rooftop doing my quiet time with Jesus. I saw the big field where cows are out there to eat and fertilize the plants. Or maybe they are just out there to get eaten, I don’t know but the point is that they were strap around with ropes with the ropes tied to the trees. That was just said that they probably don’t have much freedom than I have. So just right there God gave me the word so then he pointed out that I should have worship time with my team to share my testimony!
So now for the extreme stuff! If this gets a little too rated R for you, that’s ok you stop reading this. But for some of you who want to know I am ready to share… Well let me start by saying that I have been a porn addict and into masturbation for several years! I know a lot of people never knew about it before but I am coming clean for the first time in public. I mean many close people I know that they know about it from me. But this is something that God was pushing me to tell because for the first time in my life I am FREE from porn, lust and masturbation! You know how? Because I’ve tried many tools to get rid of this struggle for years! I mean I tried deleting apps, blocking websites and give all my electronic devices to my friends but the thoughts always remain in your mind!
So back to where I said about leading my team in worship time… But first I want to take you back to week before this. I went to my mentor of the world race (Maddie) and ask her if the guys can do something for the sisters of the squad. I asked if we would be able to do a feet washing were the three guys can wash every feet individually. Before we did that I got really nervous about doing because I didn’t think that I gain the sisters trust yet. I just didn’t think I was ready to do this since I wasn’t completely free of my addiction. For years I have looked at women like they were objects and not humans which really disgusts me now! I was really disgusted with myself but Jesus found a way to get me through it. I felt the love of Jesus and my sisters that night.
So now that I am right we’re I’m at leading to team time worship and my testimony. The first time I mentioned I am free from porn, lust and temptation! Praise Jesus to the Lord God almighty!
Now I look at women as daughters of the true king Jesus! I just have to be reminded of the people I could hurt by doing these things like my mother, sisters at home , sisters here, future wife and future daughters!
Thank everyone who read this! It wasn’t easy but Jesus gave me strength and courage to share this! Mostly thank Jesus for freeing me!
