A friend of mine, Allison, posted this Facebook status and it sparked my desire to write about why I spend my days cradling sleeping babies, chasing crazy toddlers, and roller skating until I am sore with elementary kiddos.
“The life of a nanny. Waking up while it’s still dark outside, still trying to recover from the day before, to be there when the baby wakes up and be the one to tell him good morning and cuddle in the rocker.
Having full “conversations” with an infant. Not because he can understand anything you’re saying, or talk back, but because it makes him smile and have your undivided attention. Because it lets him know he’s loved.
It’s laughing when he spits up all over you even though, deep inside, you really just want to scream and cry. Embracing the smell of spit up because, well, he’s a baby and that’s his favorite scent.
Nanny life is silently praying for kids throughout the day. Kids you know that you probably won’t know anymore 5 years later. Kids that you now think about all the time and wonder how they’ll turn out. Kids that want you to hold them when they’re hurt or rock them to sleep when they’re at the end of their rope. Kids that run to you and scream your name when they see you (or just laugh and coo). It’s them smiling and giggling just when you thought you couldn’t handle anymore, reminding you that they just need you, all of you, and that they’re only human and children, even though you can’t always see it.
It’s thanking God for Him allowing you to help in raising up HIS children. Trusting you to be that person in such young years of their lives.
Nanny life is hard. It’s exhausting. It’s long days and no personal space. But, it is a beautifully chaotic world. It’s my favorite world.”
Oh, the sweet truth that bleeds through these words.
I nanny because of days like this one.
(For the privacy of the family, I will use letters to represent them. Momma = T, Baby = M).
I walked in the door, and T came rushing down the stairs with baby M.
She said, with a smile and a gentle tone of voice, “M has a gift for you!”
I never walk through the door of their home without being greeting with love and grace and the sweetest of baby hugs.
T knows me.
She takes the time to ask questions and understand my heart.
She gauges how I really am by listening; by being observant and intentional.
She showers me with love, encouragement, and thoughtful gifts.
I feel the intensity of this love from the second I walk in the door.
Baby M smiles and coos when he sees me, and T says, “He loves his Hannah.”
Oh, the matchless joy of knowing that through patience, consistency, and love, I have created a space for this child to feel safe, taken care of, and sure that I won’t leave him without a cuddle. Ever.
We have so much to learn from children.
This is why I nanny, aside from my devotion to the development of the next generation.
The Bible gives sweet and simple truths regarding the way we, as believers, are responsible to raise and love children.
But as we explore deeper into the Word, we see that God not only calls us to love children, but to be like children.
Matthew 18:3-5
3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
1 Peter 2:2-3
2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
Mark 10:13-16
13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
Mark 9:36-37
36 He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”
I pray those words of truth speak to you.
I feel like my experience with children has taught me more about who the Lord is.
The innocence of a child is something that draws us in to complete and utter reliance on Him.
Think about it this way: bringing a child into the world means accepting and acting upon the knowledge that an infant cannot survive without a caretaker.
A mother’s body creates the nutrients a baby needs to survive.
A child learns to sit, play, talk, and walk by observing, listening, and interacting with the people in their home.
A child is completely and totally reliant on the care of their guardian, and as a nanny, I have the chance to play this role every day.
I have written before about surrender, and how surrendering to the Lord can be a battle for me sometimes.
I am inspired by the way a child doesn’t have to think about surrendering the ability to take care of themselves.
Babies don’t (and can’t) hold onto anything with a closed fist – primarily because they don’t understand anything other than, “this person will take care of my needs.”
Now – my initial thought as I wrote that, and I’m sure the thought of some reading, is “there are some parents who don’t take care of the needs of their child.”
Maybe that was you.
Maybe the person who brought you into the world was unable to care for you.
Maybe they chose not to.
Maybe your biological family are not the people you call “mom,” “dad,” “grandma,” “grandpa,” “aunt,” etc.
I would just pause to speak truth into that hurt: I am incredibly sorry that a person, broken because of the sinful world we live in, missed out on the beauty of your life.
There is reconciliation and promises upon promises that the Lord will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.
That doesn’t fix the hurt or take away the pain, but I pray it brings hope and joy to an otherwise lifeless situation.
Maybe you are the parent or grandparent who was unable to care for a little one.
Or maybe you chose not to.
Maybe your biological family doesn’t speak to you, doesn’t care for you, or vice versa.
I would again pause to say that the Lord has forgiven that, regardless of how heavy it feels to you, and He sits at the throne of Life waiting for you to lay it down and embrace Him, in all His glory and mercy.
And friend, there is reconciliation for that.
Allow yourself to sit in the brokenness, understand the depth of the need you have for the Lord, and watch him pick up the pieces and give you a new reality.
Believe in Him for that.
I haven’t doubted for a minute that nannying is a beautiful job I have been called to do for the past few years.
I have learned more about the Lord’s patience, grace, and intentionality through children than through anything else.
My goal for the next few weeks as I prepare to go on the field is to lower myself to the position of a child, spend my waking moments craving spiritual milk, and to continually taste that the Lord is good, and sit in that truth.
I write this as I sit on the floor of a sanctuary, face down in front of the altar, and man am I so thankful to be here.
In this moment.
Lowly — out of control.
Praise God.
I don’t understand, because if I understood everything God did, He wouldn’t be God, He would be human.
Praise God He isn’t.
Releasing the hurt, fear, pain, and weight. Here. At His feet.
Father, your yolk is easy and your burden is light. Hallelujah.
TRAINING CAMP starts Wednesday! This means that for 10 days, I will be in Gainesville, Georgia, and will be training for the field.
I will be interacting with my squad, making family with strangers, and learning piece by piece what it means to willingly surrender my comfort – for the glory of God and the salvation of His children.
I won’t have any technology, but I WILL be journaling and am so excited to share where my heart is when I return.
SPIRITUAL UPDATE
The Lord is using this preparation stage to humble me and speak to my heart so clearly.
I would love prayers for the following things:
– Unity among my team and squad
– A position of humility and understanding as I walk into training camp
– For fear and nerves to subside
FUNDRAISING UPDATE
I am currently sitting at about 6,000 raised with a couple payments waiting to clear! My 10,000 dollar goal is September 20, and I am hopeful and expectant to see the way the Lord moves.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generosity and giving hearts.
I pray the Lord continues to bless you as you have each so graciously sacrificed for the Kingdom to be KNOWN among ALL the Earth.
I couldn’t do this without you,
All my love,
Hannah
