Not gonna lie, these past couple of months have been really hard for me. I have been hurting a whole lot. Not only has my parent’s divorce affected my heart, but it has also affected my life.
Today I moved out of my home that I have lived in for over 10 years. And as I sit and stare at these walls that are so new to me, my heart aches. When my sister and my mom officially move out of the house July 9th, we will be separated from each other for a while. The first time that I don’t have a place to go home to where my family is. The first time in my life where we are all split apart.
Have you ever felt stripped of everything you once knew? Have you ever felt your heart ache and cry out for life to stay unchanged, for things to be just as they were?
Life is not always going to be comfortable. Life is not always going to be happy and I am not going to use this blog to portray my life as being perfect, because this is exactly where God works.
When I got the news that my house was up for sale, my first immediate thought, as it is for many, was why me? Why did God allow these things to happen to me? I am a good person. I try my best to be the best woman of Christ I can be. Why am I being taken away from my mom and my sister 4 months before I leave for a year?
And then I think, why am I doubting God? I think it’s so easy for me to forget that growth and change comes with a price. Freedom always does. I have prayed for change on the inside, without fully understanding that the path to progress will unavoidably be painful.
This is the process of putting all my trust in the Lord. This is the process of how God is preparing me for this next journey in my life. And if that means that I am separated from my family, if that means I will not have a home when I come back from the World Race, if that means I must open my heart to new opportunities, then I will follow. Because when I open my eyes and become aware of God’s grace and plan, when I have a deeper confidence and dependence on Him, then I am on my way to seeing growth and change. I am on my way to breaking free from the things that chain me from his heart.
I am living where I am living because God placed me here. This new placement is an invitation from God to seek Him in a different light. I am using this as an opportunity to build my home on Christ, allowing Him to create a foundation for my life.
I apologize for not being as involved as I would like in my fundraising. I am still $500 away from goal due on July 20th. If you would like to partner with me in achieving this goal, every bit is appreciated.
I want to thank a very special person of mine, Kathy Virden. Kathy is my mentor for the World Race and has been such a loving and wise woman in my life. When I prayed for a new home, Kathy did not hesitate to open up her home to me and I am forever grateful for her and her hospitality. If you don’t know Kathy, get to know her because the way she glows with Christ is both incredible and inspiring. I love you Kath.
