It’s been almost a month since I was accepted to go on the World Race.
That’s one month of reading hundreds of blogs of former racers to get an idea of what to expect next year. One month of spending every spare minute of my day planning out fundraisers. One month of answering countless questions from loved ones (who aren’t convinced they are going to let me go just yet) about where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing for an entire year. One month of praying over every aspect of this journey so fiercely that at times, I’m convinced nothing will go wrong. (I can hear the enemy laughing at that one) And one month of hearing, “You are so brave!” too many times to count.
While that last statement is empowering to me and makes me feel like a superhero, let me give you the inside scoop…
I have NEVER felt brave. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I live life in a state of caution. I assess every situation for the “what-if”. I know who and what is around me at all times (thanks Daddy; anyone that knows him is probably laughing because you know “Rambo” is serious about safety). And the thought of doing anything risky at all literally makes me nauseous. I like to be in control and when I’m not, I’m uncomfortable.
“And you want to go on the World Race?!”
Yes! As much as it scares me, I want to surrender my fears. I want to do things that terrify me. I want to live in the moment without over-analyzing everything that could go wrong. I want to have child-like faith. I want to be uncomfortable. I want to FEEL brave. I don’t want to be in control of my life, I want to pick up my cross and follow Jesus.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what next year will look like and I’ll be honest, it looks scary. I know that God will use the World Race to change me in ways that I can’t even imagine, and to that I say, “Bring it on!”. I want to be so fully consumed by His spirit that others have no choice but to ask me about Him. I want Him to strip me of fear, doubt, and insecurity.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”
Hebrews 12:1
Please be in prayer for me and my squad. We are all imperfect and will have different things that we struggle with throughout the next 2 years. Pray that we will surrender those struggles to God and to each other. That God will use us as vessels to spread His love around the globe without fear, doubt, or insecurity weighing on our hearts.
