Last week was one of my harder weeks on the race.
Sunday night the Lord told me to do a speech fast on Monday. Speech fast meaning no speaking to anyone for any reason all day.
~James 1:19 “… be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
So Monday April 6th, I woke up and tried my absolute best not to talk to people all day. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done and I messed up many many times. After sitting alone and not talking for more than an hour I would go up to a friend and say something to him/her, totally forgetting I wasn’t supposed to talk! But God gave me so much grace knowing how hard it was for me and knowing my heart behind it was in the right place.
Here’s what I learned: Community is SO important to me. I love to speak with people, laugh with people, joke with them and encourage them. I don’t want to isolate myself and lose that before I leave the race forever. My community right now is just as important as my community after the race. I want to dive into relationships, dig into the good stuff and the hard stuff, and love everyone well. I want to be the sister God has called me to be to my community here.
Tuesday the power went out across the city meaning- no fans… (we already don’t have AC so that’s nothing new). The weekend before, I had unknowingly hurt my foot but it didn’t start hurting until Monday night. So Tuesday was spent elevating my foot and taking ibuprofen. I had some great conversations with my friend, and fellow treasurer, Maddie and our leader Stephen. Then I listened to a podcast by Johnathan David and Melissa Helser (110% recommend listening to their podcasts and music- all are incredible). I felt unproductive, which is very hard for me -the ultimate doer.
Wednesday was quite normal until I started feeling sick around 7:30 and went to be freezing at 8:30. That’s right, freezing in Cambodia, something was wrong.
Thursday morning I woke up with stomach cramps, a migraine, and a fever of 101. My first time being physically sick on the race, I’m kind of surprised it took this long! I spent the day on my little sleeping pad dozing, watching movies, reading, and working on college stuff. By the evening I was feeling better and my fever had gone down significantly, maybe this was just a one day bug. But I wasn’t so fortunate.
Friday morning: 101 fever and all the same symptoms. Home again home again for me. Day 2 of being sick was about the same as the first but I was more restless. As I told my friend Alyssa, “The part that’s worst for me is that I don’t get to talk to anyone most of the day or touch anyone. My extrovert and physical touch love language tanks aren’t being filled!” By the end of the day, I had eaten more and was feeling better again. That night I went to my favorite spot to sleep, my hammock on the roof.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling good as new. No fever, no migraine, no stomach pain. THANKS GOD!! I can’t stress enough how much I hate being sick, so to feel happy and normal again that day was the greatest blessing.
Missional living is great at times but when you get hurt, sick, or are challenged with a big task from God (like fasting) it’s easy to fall victim to your own thoughts and throw yourself a pity party. DO NOT KEEP YOUR FEELINGS TO YOURSELF! If your in the midst of your pity party, invite someone in and ask for accountability so they can help you snap out of it see the truths in your life. You have God, and He is working in you even on hard days.
Thanks for reading! I’ve felt so much better this week and can’t wait to share more of what I’ve been learning here in Cambodia in the next few weeks!
Many blessings,
Gracie J
