The World Race is not only about traveling and helping others, it’s a personal spiritual journey too. The 13 days I’ve been here in Santiago taught me already a lot. One of the my growth-goals is about identity and another one is about the language not to be a barrier. I found out that these two goals correlate closely with each other:
First of all, because English isn’t my mother tongue, it’s more difficult for me to express myself. Sometimes I don’t remember a word. Sometimes I don’t know a specific word but it’s the one who would express the most appropriate what I specifically want to say. Sometimes I’m too tired to concentrate myself on the conversation who’s going on. Sometimes I miss the point of a conversation. Sometimes I would like to add something but the conversation switched already to another subject.
Second, I had to get used that the schedule here is totally different to the one I was used at home. At home I always knew what to do. I was in some way always needed for something. I was busy. I was efficient. My brain functioned as a multi-lane road. There are times here you don’t exactly know what to do and how to be the best help they’re in need of.
These two facts made me feel unknown (…it’s hard to describe what I exactly felt). But here is the beauty in it: I had a lot of quiet time with God and can come a lot before his throne and enjoy his presence there. And he met me anytime exactly where I was. Kind of crushed in spirit he restored my soul. Every time I came back to the throne he revealed me something new. Whenever I opened the Bible she spoke life into my situation. And all these encounters with God directed my heart’s condition to a place where I could feel myself as known. And with this identity I start the day different, I stay different during the day and I go to sleep with a different feeling. To feel known affects in turn my “ineffectual minutes” during ministry as well as my language challenges.
I’ll take that with me which I hope helps you in some way too:
When I feel unknown, I act unknown.
When I feel known, I act known.
When I feel xy, I act xy.
To realize this insight is a lifelong process because whatever we face we need to direct our hearts to the one who speaks truth.
The questions for a healthy heart are the following:
What do I allow to set direction for the condition of my heart?
Is my heart set in a divine direction? …every new day?
Let us take charge of our habits, take charge of our thoughts, take charge of our heart!
Love, your learning Fabienne
