Excerpt from Temporary, a Meditation by The Liturgists
As you breathe,
pay attention to the impermanence of this breath.
The transitory nature.
It’s here,
then it’s gone.
And what happens if you try to hold on to it?
Well, then the breathing stops.
Life stops,
if you try to hold onto it too much.
So,
here in this breath,
let’s try not to control it,
force it,
wish that it was something else. Wish that it was more like the last breath.
But, just be perfectly here and content with it.
What a miraculous thing your body is.
Taking in the atmosphere of earth to sustain its life.
Earth gifts these lungs full of oxygen thanks to an interconnected, vast dance of events that all had to happen just so for this breath.
And then it’s gone.
And then there’s this breath.
And then it’s gone.
This is a moment of life that will never happen again.
From dust we came.
And to dust we shall return.
This moment, this fleeting,
temporary vapor is full of the infinite glory that is all.
It’s only here that you can ever find it.
It’s only here that you can ever be happy, satisfied,
content.
This is the moment of creation.
Again. And again. And again.
If you could witness the big bang, would you be thinking about the future?
“Oh, I wonder what’s going to happen?”
Or would you just look at it?
In wonder, in awe and experience it.
And think this is not something to miss.
That’s every breath.
That’s every moment.
It never happens again.
Namaste.
Meditation is an ancient practice that actually stimulates the same parts of our brains as prayer, and, in scripture we see several examples of mediation. Isaac meditates in Genesis 24:63, our Lord commands Joshua to meditate in Joshua 1:8 and the Psalmists speak on mediation throughout the book as a way to inscribe His law on our hearts, please God and reflect on all He has done for us (1:2, 104:34, 119:97, 143:5).
Meditation is one way I have been able to cultivate what I like to call my orchard of peace. Basically, if I desire to live a life of peace, then I need to be growing, tending to and harvesting peace. I can’t expect to be thrown into a stressful situation and then automatically access peace when my orchard is empty. Instead, I can spend time outside of stressful situations pruning my peace garden so that when those situations arise, I can pluck some of the fruit I’ve worked so hard to grow and access that peace. It would be silly to think I could access this kind of peace without ever putting the work into it. The above mediation has been particularly helpful to me since coming to Africa. It reminds me during times when it may feel as if my world is crashing down and I can’t see the end of something bad, that this is only a breath. This is only a moment that will pass. It will pass.
Now, let me introduce you to a new friend of mine: the great Zambezi. Home to crocodiles, one of the natural wonder of the world and the most intense rapids on earth. This river creates borders for five different countries here in southeastern Africa. Myself and some of my squadmates had the exciting opportunity to go white-water rafting through this great beast on an off-day from ministry. We arrived at the river early in the morning, eager to hop on our rafts and start careening through the rapids. There was no part of me that felt afraid save some nervous butterflies as I thought of the fun I anticipated having. The first time we hit the rapids was exciting, even as our raft flipped entirely over. I was shocked, but still enjoyed floating through the water and climbing back onto our raft. I had secretly been hoping we would flip at least once – just for the mems, ya know? We had to work together as a team, rowing in time with one another and using our respective sides of the raft to turn and angle it just so as our guide, Enoch, yelled out instructions to lead us through the river. The number one rule he taught us was to not panic. If we fall out, we need to remain calm and keep our heads clear, so we can get out of the situation safely. We need peace.
As we neared rapid number 7, Enoch told us how it was nicknamed Gulliver’s Travels because it was the longest and most technical rapid of the day. I hope to myself that we don’t fall out this time because that would be pretty unfortunate during the longest rapid of the day.
We start to navigate the rapid and the first big wave hits.
The raft comes out from under me.
I’m under the raft.
I’m watching the raft shoot away from me.
The raft is gone.
I’m under water.
I’m under water.
I’m under.
I’m above.
I’m under.
I’m being tossed, flung by no volition of my own.
I surface, gasping for breath only to take in even more water as another wave crashes over me.
I’m swallowing more water than I had from my water bottle all day.
Then repeat the same thing. Again. Again. Again.
I start wondering how long I can survive this and stay conscious. There are no rescue kayaks or rafts in sight and I think for the first time in my life that I may actually be drowning. I want to pass out because the sensation of being swallowed by the water over and over is too much to bear. After passing several rescue kayaks and moving much too quickly to grab onto any of them, the rapids calm down a bit and I grab hold of one. I’m heaving and gasping for air as I try to settle my lungs from the beating they just received. My rescuer says that there is something solid ahead, which confuses me, but everything becomes clear as I feel a hard hit to my tailbone. I roll over the rock and lose the grip on my kayak. Once I got to a kayak again, we neared a different team’s raft, and I beg to be allowed on. I wanted desperately to be out of the water. I was pretty shaken and having a hard time breathing after that, but my heart and mind settled. Once I rejoined my rafting team, I was a little more cautious but still excited to finish out the course of 15 more rapids that we had ahead of us.
As I reflect on this experience, I wonder why I was still so willing to continue. I think it comes down to a low fear of death and a high desire for peace. I recognize that death only means being with Jesus, so there is no need for fear surrounding that. But, in the moment, feeling like you’re going to die can be scary. Really, though, it was a fear of the feelings of suffocation and pain rather than of death itself. Which, at its core, is just as illogical as fearing death. It’s all temporary. A breath. A vapor. It’s just a speck. It’s mild and fleeting when you consider the grandeur of eternity. And I can pluck that truth from my peace orchard. As the peace in my being grows and matures, I receive more and more to activate while I feel like I’m drowning in the Zambezi. Now, I know it’s an extreme example, but peace really is necessary in every facet of life. Peace is necessary to wake up with God’s Word on our hearts and to follow the first rule of white water rafting. Peace is necessary for my absolute entirety to be wrapped up in God’s eternity. That’s what true peace comes from.
But what does that really mean?
For my whole being to be focused on the fact that He is everlasting.
For a heaven-set mind and heart.
For everything I say and do and think to be affected by His Lordship.
To be completely and helplessly in love with Him.
For every fiber of my being to be hinged on knowing Him more.
To have God be closer to me than the skin on my bones.
To see the reflection of myself in His eyes.
For my breath to be in sync with His.
Because that’s all this life is, a breath, a gasp, an inhale pregnant with anticipation for eternity.
grace + peace
If you liked what you read here and feel led to partner with me on mission – please feel free to support me by praying for me and subscribing to this blog! I am fully funded!! But, if you would still like to support me financially, you can find me on paypal ([email protected]) or check out my store.
