It’s weird to be back on the field again. Same time of year but different year. Different place. Different people. Same organization. Same set up. Different role. Such a different person.
Getting to re experience this season of starting the race has brought up so many memories of what the start of this journey was like for me ONE YEAR AGO (crazy). Honestly, a lot of these memories are the kind that makes you cringe a little bit and be kind of embarrassed at yourself. It was weird y’all. Lots of emotions and frustrations and overthinking. But getting to watch these beautiful people live out so many of the same moments, and emotions and weirdness that I navigated last year has given me so much more understanding and grace for myself in that season. Month 1 of the race is weird people!!
Remembering those days has actually been really good for me. A cool way to process and reflect and realize so much of what the Lord has brought me into in the past year! I definitely am not the same person that I was one year ago. And month 1 of the race this time around looks so much different than month 1 of my race a year ago. Praise God!
So thinking about all this, I wrote a letter to myself when I was in the beginning stages of my race!
Dear Month 1 Emma,
Life is weird right now. Things are weird. That’s ok. It shouldn’t feel normal or even easy to leave everything and head to a new country with a group of strangers. Breathe. Let it be weird. You’re not crazy.
You don’t need to be instant friends with people. Instant friendship isn’t real. Your friendships with your team and with your squad will ebb and flow like normal friendships in normal life. Just like past friendships, you need to get to know these people. Ask them questions. Hang out. You will make friends. You have a place with these people. Don’t rush. Slow down. Have grace for yourself and others.
He’s got you! He’s going to be your best friend and walk right beside you through all this. At the end of the day it’s all about Him. You and Him. That’s all that counts at the end of it all. So many of the things you think you need, you don’t. All you need is Him and He’s so much more than enough.
Let yourself be uncomfortable and run to Him in that. This is going to be what pushes you into deeper growth and intimacy with Him. Have grace for yourself! This isn’t going to be perfect or easy or fun all the time.
Things are going to get hard. Fight for these people. Fight for your team and yourself. Hard isn’t bad! Hard is just hard! And hard is going to teach you and grow you more than anything else. Stop worrying about the hard things because that’s just making you suffer twice as much.
You’re going to have some hard goodbyes. At the end of every country. At the end of every ministry. At the end of all of this. Don’t let it stop you from loving hard. Don’t let it slow you down from building deep and real relationships.
Go do things! Make memories! Your time is going to go by so quickly. Don’t waste a second on things that won’t matter next year. This will be over before you know it. So laugh a lot. Hug some people. Be yourself. Celebrate the holidays and birthdays hard. Eat weird food and don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself sometimes and dance in the kitchen and love ridiculously hard.
This is going to be the hardest, most beautiful, stretching, exciting, weird, intentional, and rewarding year of life yet. It’s going to change everything. And it’s going to be so worth it. Your life doesn’t end with the race and there’s so much more on the way! This is going to be 9 wild months! Get ready!
So grateful for the change and transformation He’s brought in my life over the past year. So thankful for the lessons and relationships and growth I’ve gained. Here we are again. Month 1 of the Race! So glad we never stop growing and learning about Him. So glad there’s so much more ahead.
