I’m getting ready to say goodbye to the place I’ve called home for the past three months and goodbye to the people that have made it really feel like a home. Trying to wrap my mind around this goodbye is pretty difficult. This will be the longest time we’re in one place on the race and these people have expanded my heart to love in depths and heights that I didn’t even know I was capable of. So basically this goodbye is going to be really really really hard. Any and all prayers sent my way would be much needed and appreciated
I feel like I’ve been learning a lot through this process of goodbyes and I’ve definitely been thinking a whole lot about it all. So I just wanted to share some of the things that have been on my heart. Also fair warning there’s a lot on my heart so this is about to be long so just get ready.
One thing that keeps coming to mind in all of this, is the insane power of my words and the seriousness of my promises. These kids I live with are amazing. I’ve spent 3 months getting to know them as friends. I know what they like and dislike. I know their top 6 favorite colors. I know who likes hugs and kisses and who wants an encouraging word. I know how to tell when they’re mad or sad and who’s related and what they eat for breakfast on Wednesday’s. I know these kids. And I love them like friends and little sisters and brothers. So cool! One thing they’ve taught me is to watch what I say really carefully. Of course I want to come back here as soon as I can and visit each one. I love them like my own family and I pray to get the chance to see them all again. I want to promise that I’ll be back next year or the year after that. And I know so often when we fall in love with kids like this and say goodbye we promise we’ll stay friends or stay in touch or see them again. And it’s not because I’m trying to lie or give them false hope, it’s because I truly deeply love them and desire to continue to know them forever. The Bible talks a lot about being careful when you make oaths and how serious they are, and these goodbyes are truly making me understand why. Whenever my friend Abdi asks me if I’m coming back I don’t promise I will (even though it kills me a little bit every time). Instead I try remind him that Jesus is all he needs and I love him and his Father loves him more, and that I want to be part of his life but I don’t know for sure what the future will hold. I only promise things that are for sure. Like I’ll miss him like crazy and pray for him and definitely will see him again in our big family reunion in heaven. Our words and our promises matter. A false and empty promise usually does way more damage to those we love (even when full of great intentions) than a seemingly hard and painful truth. We don’t know what tomorrow will hold. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back to Ethiopia and get to see my friends grown up into the beautiful men and women they’re becoming. I’m learning that loving people well looks like keeping promises and so that makes me want to be really careful about the things I promise.
Another idea that’s been on my mind is just how beautiful it is to have hard and sad goodbyes. It’s not something that should be avoided. It’s evidence of relationship and deep care. Loving people hard even though goodbyes are inevitable (because this life is temporary) is so important. Sometimes I think about “short term” versus “long term missions”. I’ve heard a lot about long term missions being better than short term and how awful it is to bring people for a short amount of time to make relationships and then just leave. I think there’s definitely wisdom in this. And this idea is something I’ve really wrestled with because I am aware I’m on a longer but still “short term missions trip”. But I also never want to let limited time be an excuse to love people less (also if you really think about it life should be missions and life here is definitely short term compared to eternity). Obviously there needs to be discernment when it comes to those short term trips and if they’re actually beneficial to the individuals involved. But just because time is short doesn’t mean the love isn’t real, impactful, or good. What Jesus has really been teaching me in this is what it looks like to love appropriately. Not less. Appropriately. Being sensitive to the time I have and the impact I can make and the real people in front of me. Remembering that real love should make people more whole and walking more in step with and dependence on Jesus. Philippians 1:9 in the message version says “so this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately.” Love much and love well, constantly pointing back to the One who IS Love. Real love makes for sad but beautiful goodbyes. Sad but not devastating and hard but not damaging.
Anyways I really am not sure what to say or think or feel about these goodbyes coming up for me. Feeling blessed for sure to have gotten the chance to know and love these people and to be known and loved by them in return. Please cover my squad in prayer and every single one of the precious people we’re leaving on Friday. Pray for peace and comfort and most of all a steadiness and trust in Him.
Love you all!
