The day we got back to HOPEthiopia from debrief I found out there was a new kid in the children’s village. A special needs orphanage in another village had shut down because of funding problems and all the kids there had been relocated to new homes. Rabirah got sent here!
Rabirah is amazing. Wow. The minute I first saw him I knew that he was going to hold a special piece of my heart. He’s 3 years old and absolutely awesome in every way. He has a spunky personality and is cheerful and beyond tough. He has the most joy-filled smile. The first days that he was here he was really weak. He struggled to hold up his head and couldn’t eat very well or hardly move most of his body. For a few days straight different people from our squad spent hours and hours with him. Praying over him, feeding him, holding him. Getting to see him get stronger and healthier every day has been so beautiful. My favorite part of the day is usually going to visit Rabirah, holding him, and feeding him some new gourmet baby food (I make baby food as a hobby now and I’m getting pretty good. it’s really fun who knew?).
Rabirah’s name means from God. And over the weeks I’ve come to realize just how true his name is. He is so obviously a gift from God to me and so many others in this season.
Before debrief I was honestly struggling with being here. We just hit the halfway point of the race and Christmas and New Years were basically just weeks of crazy intense homesickness for me. I was missing my family so much and my physical home. Even being at this ministry became hard. Nothing I did felt life giving and I was exhausted and drained at the end of every day. I was struggling with apathy and boredom and feeling trapped and isolated from the world around me. Even just realizing that I was only halfway done with the race was enough to make me overwhelmed and even more homesick. Here’s the thing though; my physical surroundings were awesome. I’m in a beautiful place surrounded by the sweetest kids and people that I just get to hang out with all the time. This place is truly filled with so many things that I’m passionate about. I get to play soccer and cook and spend hours with kids. But it wasn’t because of this place or the circumstances really that I was struggling. There was a lot more going on inside me that needed to be taken to Jesus. It wasn’t my surroundings that needed to change, just my heart. Truthfully this was the first time I started to think that I would rather be at home than here.
Debrief was really an amazing time to regain vision and passion and to rest and recharge. After the week I was feeling ready to come back to HOPEthiopia and feeling passionately about choosing to be present for the time that I have left instead of coasting through the months. I really didn’t know what it would look like or how I would do that here, but He promised that He would provide what I needed as I relied on Him instead of my own strength. He told me that He would give me things that I was passionate about to give me the life that I needed here. So I was ready and looking for what He would do, and I was just excited to go home to our compound and that realization alone was such an answer to prayer.
And then when I came home, Rabirah was here. Getting to care for this guy and love him in real and practical ways has been one of the most life giving things I’ve ever done. It’s easy and exciting to spend hours just holding him, sitting beside him, feeding him, and bathing him. It’s crazy to think back to the first month and a half here and realize how much my heart has changed towards this place. Life feels so much more joyful and easy. And it’s all because of how He changed my heart. And because He knows exactly what I need and loves to give because He’s an incredibly good Papa to me.
Rabirah is such a gift from Jesus because he’s given me such a new passion for my time here. I don’t want to waste a single minute with him or any of the other people that I get to see every day. I’m realizing that I only have a short amount of time here and I don’t want to waste it with dwelling on things that aren’t right here right now. Why would I ever pass on a possibility to love someone extravagantly? Especially when I think about how deeply He loves them.
Rabirah has also helped confirm the dreams and passions that God’s given me to love and care for kids with disabilities. It’s something that I’ve thought about a lot in the past but was never sure if it was a God desire or an Emma desire. I truly can’t describe the love that I feel towards Rabirah. It’s special in a way that makes me realize it’s a God given special love. At debrief I put down a deposit to finalize my plans for next year. I’m planning on going to UT and majoring in special education. I’ve really felt peace about this decision for a while, but now being here with Rabirah has made it even more clear why Jesus led me to this.
It’s also been beautiful because Rabirah in a way has been a comfort from Him in my homesickness. He reminds me of my little sister Adaline when she was a baby in so many ways. It’s been really cool because I’m able to use the knowledge I’ve gotten from having Adaline as my sister to help care for Rabirah. We’ve been doing a ton of the physical therapy exercises with him that I remember from when she was a baby. And honestly it’s just really sweet to get to love this kid that reminds me of my little sister so much.
Just getting to see the ways God is moving in Rabirah’s life has been so encouraging to me. He’s truly made so much progress. He can hold up his head on his own and roll over and feed himself some. He tries to talk to us and crawl on his own and you can just tell that he’s engaged and focused on his surroundings. I really think that it’s only because of His healing power. The amount of progress and strength that Rabirah has gained is honestly a miracle and it’s been amazing to get to see it every day. We spent hours praying over his physical body and it’s been so beautiful to watch those prayers be answered day by day.
So basically my new best friend Rabirah is the best. He makes me laugh every day and he’s made me into a gourmet baby food chef. He’s a fighter and goofy and sweet and he’s getting stronger every day. He loves baths and books and taking things out of boxes and then putting them back in and mashed carrots. And I love him like crazy.
God knows what we need. Even if we don’t really know for ourselves. I thought I needed to be in a different place. Really what I needed was for Him to open up my eyes to the beauty of this place and people. I truly believe that if I hadn’t pushed into Him in the hard stuff and instead chosen to continue just coasting through the days, I would be missing out entirely on the gift of Rabirah right now. He knows what we need and He loves to lavish us with His love. And for me, right here and right now, His love looks like my 3 year old best friend named Rabirah.
