Coming into the World Race I was nervous about a lot of things; my squad, homesickness, parasites, abandonment, giant scorpions, my purpose, living out of a backpack, maintaining relationships, insecurity, malaria, constant community, and emotions. These took up a lot of space inside my mind as I prepared to leave for 9 months, when in reality there was nothing to worry about in the first place.
Now that it has been officially 2 months living in Swaziland, those things I once worried about are either in the process of going away or are completely gone. The Lord has showed me that there are more important things that are worth thinking about and that those things that originally worried me only tried to distract me from what He is doing inside me and all around me.
“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9
This time has been one of renewal and sanctification. The process of rooting out the old and unhealthy habits and replacing them with new and healthy ones. I wasn’t aware of all of those unhealthy habits until I was forced to sit and actually deal with them. There are so many times throughout scripture where Gods people are too consumed with the obstacles in front of them where they forget that God is the ultimate overcomer. In the book of Numbers when God is giving instruction through Moses to the 12 tribes of Israel, they got tired of listening to Moses and wanted their own way. All they could think about was everything they lost following God, but they didn’t realize all that they were about to gain in Him.
I can relate to the Israelites, becoming so fixated on the hard things that are in front of you that it prevents you from seeing all the good that is in store. While in the meantime forsaking trust that the Lord has it under control. In the past, I relied on my own wisdom to dictate how I thought something needed to be done, just like the Israelites. Little did I know I actually don’t know everything because I’m not God. Duh.
It reminds me of the story in Matthew where Jesus calls his first disciples. Simon, who was an experienced fisherman who was commanded by Jesus to go out into the deep and cast his net for a catch. Simon was used to catching fish his own way, and He responded with “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets”(Mt. 5:5). I’m sure at this point in Simons life, fishing was something he mastered, and he knew all the ins and outs. When Jesus told him to do something he had already tried I’m sure there was some precautions in his mind that he would return with an empty net. I think we are guilty of thinking this way more than we realize. We feel like we know all there is to know about something, but rarely do we stop and allow God to teach us something new from it. “And when they had done this(cast out the nets) they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking…And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.” (Mt. 5:6-7).
Swerve…
God knows best. We aren’t the ones seated on the throne, God has the ultimate say. It took 40 years for the Israelites to reach the promised land. God’s timing is not our own timing. As much as we would like it to be fulfilled here and now, sometimes that’s not what God has planned. I’m learning to have patience, and instead of instantly leaning on my own wisdom and understanding, lean on the Lord’s understanding. I may not understand it right away, but He is faithful to fulfill His promises in His own timing.
With that being said, I am not going to allow the big and scary things to hold me back anymore. God didn’t call me to live in fear of the world, He calls me to be courageous, and He will provide me with His strength in the process.
Later in Deuteronomy, Moses further explained to the Israelites when they were afraid of the big and tall cities that the Lord commanded them to overtake, “For if you will be careful to do all this commandment that I command you to do, loving the Lord your God, walking in all his ways, and holding fast to him, then the Lord will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations greater and mightier than you. Every place on which the sole of your foot treads shall be yours…No one shall be able to stand against you” Deuteronomy 11:22-25
The Lord reassures us to not be afraid. Do not be afraid of anything, because the Lord is our strength and our shield. Despite anything we are going through in our lives, God is Sovereign and good. May we continue to lean on Him even when we don’t understand, and wait when He tells us not yet. I’d like to think we are always on the journey towards the promised land. Our time on earth is the journey, and heaven is our promised land.
It is easy to look back on all the comforts, ease, and familiarity that I’ve temporarily left back home. The Isrealites did that often, they responded in fear to where God was calling them to go. All they could think about was Egypt and the comfort and ease of it. For 40 years God lead them in the wilderness. He promised them a land flowing with milk and honey; the promised land. But they had to walk through the wilderness in order to get there. They had to trust that God was going to take them there. Despite all the tall and fortified cities we may encounter along the way God reminds us, “Do not fear, for I am with you, and I will fight for you” (Deuteronomy 1:30). If it takes 40 years to fulfill what God is doing in my life, I will wait and faithfully take steps of obedience in the meantime, even if they may be hard and scary to my human eye; I don’t need to be afraid. The Lord is with me and directing all my paths into the promised land.
The Lord reassures us to not be afraid. Do not be afraid of anything, because the Lord is our strength and our shield. Despite anything we are going through in our lives, God is Sovereign and good. May we continue to lean on Him even when we don’t understand, and wait when He tells us not yet. I’d like to think we are always on the journey towards the promised land. Our time on earth is the journey, and heaven is our promised land. The Lord is with us through it all, and leading us back to Him. Let us walk with boldness instead of fear, and trust instead of doubt, patience instead of urgency, for the Lord is with us.
