This past week I went to a 10-day training camp in Gainesville, Georgia. I met my squad of 47 brothers and sisters in Christ who I will be traveling the world to spread the love of Christ with for 9 months. (who are some of the most God-loving people I’ve ever met) In those 10 days we camped out in tents, took bucket showers, and enjoyed the random rain showers. We ate different foods based off of the cultures we were going to be immersed in, and learned more in depth of the different religions from each country. We spent time doing team building exercises and attended different sessions each day. It was one of the most amazing/exhausting/eye-opening/draining/challenging/vulnerable weeks I’ve ever experienced. It was just a little taste of what I will be experiencing for these upcoming 9 months on the mission field. I am amazed at how the Lord brought all of our different paths together to work towards one purpose; furthering His Kingdom. Each and every one of my squad mates were hand-picked by the Lord, and each of us bring something different to the table. I am so excited to do life and ministry with these people for 9 months!
With that being said, the Lord did some major construction on me this week. You know that whole “open-concept” idea that has become the new trend? Well the Lord began doing that in my heart throughout my time at training camp. What once were walls built up in my heart are now in the process of being broken down. As Chip Gaines would say, “it’s demo day”. And that is exactly right my friends, it’s demo day in my heart and soul. And let me tell you, it is messy, it isn’t always fun, but in the end that heart that was full of walls has become an open concept. More functional, beautiful, open than before.
The Lord broke down walls in my heart that I had been harboring without even realizing they were there. He reminded me that a relationship with Him is a friendship. The more I understand His character and how He communicates with me, the clearer I am able to recognize His direction in my life.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
-Jeremiah 1:5
He reminded me that He speaks to me personally, different than any other. There is no room for comparison. He is at work here and now. He is constantly pursuing me, and working in my heart whether I like it or not.
“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
-Isaiah 64:8
I learned that it is ok to be vulnerable, in fact the Lord longs for us to be vulnerable! When we bring things to the light they cannot be overcome by darkness. No matter how small it may seem, the Lord wants us to share what is on our heart. He loves when we come to Him.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The Lord reminded me that being uncomfortable is necessary for growth. Training camp was a small glimpse into how my 9 months on the field are going to look like.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
-Joshua 1:9
The Lord reminded me what it truly means to count the cost of being His disciple, how to grow a more intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit, and how to forgive as Jesus forgave us. He reminded me that being His disciple isn’t always easy. Sometimes He calls us to give up things that we don’t want to give up. But once we listen and obey Him we realize He had our greatest intentions in mind all along.
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
-Matthew 7:13-14
Training camp allowed me to embrace uncertainty. I am not going to know everything. I am not in control of everything. It is all in the Lord’s hands. I’ve always been the person who likes to have things in my control. But the Lord is showing me how to loosen my grip on the things I once held so tightly towards. He is holding my hand and pushing me forward while reminding me that He has it in control. I have faith that He is in control. My life is in His hands.
Thank you, Jesus, for breaking down walls in my heart that have opened up a once closed and dark room into a room bursting forth with light. I can’t believe all the construction that was done in 10 days, and I can’t imagine how much more the Lord will do in 9 months.
Thank you for all of you who have supported me in this journey. I am so blessed by all the friends and family who push me closer towards God’s calling in my life. My heart is full from the love of our Father, and from the love of His children. Endless thanks.
