We walk through many trials on this earth to name a few, goodbyes, greetings, how’s your hearts but this one hurts my heart in a way that I cannot begin to explain. 11 months ago roughly I stepped into this journey not sure what to expect but knowing why I choose to go. The 2018 N squad has such an engraved place in my heart. Each and every woman and man have a deep unique walk with the father that I have had the honor to glean, grow and learn from. I have seen myself grow in ways that only the people that have walked this race with me fully understand. I want to share a little about why N squad had such a huge impact on my life and within my heart. (if you would like details plz feel free to fire off any questions that you have about my growth this last 11 months)
I got really lost in the world when I walked through my season of depression. This left me at a place of nothing internally. When I say nothing I mean looking at myself in the mirror and speaking the truth that I did not know who I was. I had no understanding of who I truly was so how could I possibly know who others are. This last year has taught me a great many things about who people in the kingdom of God truly are. It is a very interesting thing to look back on. To also have a revelation on the fact that I had never really have lived closely with multiple kingdom hearted people until this race. That is to exclude the amazing immediate family that has played such a vital role in my life and in who I am today. It amazes me how the scriptures come alive when we start to walk out what we read about in the living word of God. (Knock and the door will be opened, seek and you will find). God not only revealed to me that I had know idea about what living with others looked like but also what the kingdom of God looks like here on earth. My awesome brother from the race Wesley Chandler got a tattoo (Kingdom come) are the words. this is a reflection in my heart of serving alongside the amazing family in this squad. This last year has been an eye opener to me about what Jesus was actually saying when he states (that some of you will see the kingdom of God before you die) it is in the book of luke towards the last supper you should read it sometime it’s a good read.
This Group of 24 people that walked day in and day out serving full heartedly and pressing constantly into the hard things of life is the kingdom of God. not the only ones in the kingdom but a reflection of what I can now see is the father’s divine direction. Bringing 24 strangers together under his will to become the kingdom of God on earth, to be a light on this earth. It was more than just a trip around the world, it was a testament to the faithfulness and goodness of God. (feel free to ask me about it anytime)
I see in a whole new way the world around me. I see people hurting, I see the people that need love and joy poured into their lives, I see the goods the bads and the ugly. I can now understand and see the difference in who walks actively in the kingdom of God and who needs to be encouraged to focus on what truly matters. It is to God that all of this is possible, it is to the entire squad that I now have a little bit of an understanding to what God’s kingdom here on earth looks like. It’s a funny thing to think back and reflect on how I had not seen the kingdom in such tangible ways. The works of the father are relevant and so is the words and actions reflected through our walk with Him.
It’s not my story nor is it my painting but I can say I’m truly thankful for the artist and father that constantly turns my mess into beauty.
