The ministry here in Romania is exactly where the kingdom of God needs to be. First off it is hard to face daily spiritual battle and remain physically joyful. Romania as a whole needs more encouragement and truly needs a spiritual flood. The ministry feels as if it is just starting but upon deeper understanding the people have joined and left hope church Romania. The religious laws here and the bad reputation of judgment from the church makes people here more invested to the history of tradition rather than to Jesus Christ. So that is a little about the ministry here not a lot of details due to the needs being more spiritually than physically. We have been doing alot of evangelism and always finding divine appointments in the process.
Back on track to the process in which God is directing the growth in my life. I feel a huge calling to re-enter the mundane life of electrical work. This is absolutely against my desire because I am afraid that the work will drown out the amazing works God has done in me on this journey. The lord has given me a very clear instruction on what is to come. That is to work for the next 2 years in the mundane and then I will have learned what is needed to go out and fully serve the will of God in my life. Its a simple thing to follow and a lot harder to remember when in the midst of struggle and the giant obstacles of life. God has given me a direction and a plan to pursue the growth that will press me into the next season of kingdom service. This does not mean that in the 2 years I am in the mundane are excused from leadership or kingdom work. It means that within the 2 years I will be tested and tried, pressed and even challenged with obstacles far greater than myself alone could handle. The beautiful thing about growth is the requirements to receive it. Much like a crop in a field we sow in a different season than we reap. We must have patience in the seasons of life that God calls us to grow in. the western world mentality calls us to work hard and in turn you receive growth. Without God the hard work we pour out is useless, for our hearts will never find fullness in the works we do. When God the creator of the universe the maker of our being calls us to grow it is usually challenging and consists of pain. Not the physical pain but the mental and heart pain of not understanding or getting reprimanded for doing the right thing in our minds. We ask question about the bad things that happen to us instead of asking for help along the journey of growth. God has all things working for our good and we only see and understand what we know. When we ask for growth what we are really saying is add more weight to my life, test my talents and abilities, grow who I was into who you want me to be. That only happens when we choose to press into growth. We can choose to stay stagnant and remain in our current state without much happening in our life but what good does that do for us down the road in our life?
God has called me into the mundane and with this also opened the door to partnering with a mountain snow ministry called (SFC) snowboarding for christ. This is a challenge that the lord has placed on my heart with coming back to the states. The mission is to be the light of Jesus Christ on the mountain. God has given me a passion for snowboarding and a deep intimacy and love for God. This ministry is something the Lord is calling me into as a challenge to grow my giftings, relationships in washington state and in depth with HIM.
Emotions! Men have a hard time with emotions and I have had in the past a huge tendency to bury them. God gives us emotions to work for our good. In this new season of life that the Lord is calling me into I have a lot of mixed emotions. I’m stoked anticipating the hardship that comes with it and not sure how to feel. It’s perfectly ok to not know how to feel about the growth that God is calling us to step into. As I process the harsh reality of leaving the relationships that have been created here on the race I have a sense of peace. God gives us community for the purpose of growth and allowing us to share our emotions with one another. That is something I will really miss within N squad. I will have a hard time finding meaningful relationships when I get back in washington state in August. I left without much community other than co workers and surface friends (weekend warriors). The reality of my life and stepping back into the western world is that emotionally there is no way to fully be prepared for what is coming. God sets us up for success and we see failure as fear. I don’t believe that God sends us out in the world only to bring us back to have failure rule our life. Failure is the process in which we grow in understanding what works and what does not work. What is fear of failure when we know that failure is a requirement to find the end of ourselves. When we find the end of ourselves we find the start of Jesus Christ and he is the sustaining persistence that creates growth. I emotionally know that there is many hard times ahead of me internally with emotions. God has given me a pursuit and a desire to love others deeply. I get an opportunity to accept that emotionally i’m not ready to re enter the western world. I get the chance to seek out wisdom and sit still with the lord asking for clarity and strength to press into the growth that God is calling me to.
The difference between success and failure is our reliance on Jesus and persistence to continue even after failing.
So this is the present reality of my heart and mind and what I am battling with stepping back into America. I can use your prayers and encouragement I can not do this without you and I know God is doing as much in me as he is doing in you! thank you for following along my journey and pressing into what God is doing around the world.
The life that we have in our 20s and 30s should be full of trial for it is our path of growth and leads to the will of God in our lives.
