this blog is going to be kind of like a story time, so buckle up!
Also for the record, I am OKAY! just a minor burn and fried hair/eyebrow/eyelashes resulted from the following events
Thursday’s and Saturday’s are our off days of ministry here in Peru. Thursday is our “adventure day” which we are still provided with all three meals cooked by our favorite chef, Chela! Saturday is our “Sabbath day” and we provide meals for ourselves. So last Saturday, we planned on having simple sandwiches for lunch and then we were going to cook our dinner meal in the kitchen at our site. Saturday night rolls around and we were ready to start cooking dinner. On the menu that night we were going to make chicken burgers with a side of broccoli. ALSO, we were going to make a chocolate cake that we were hoping would be more like brownies because we just needed a little sweetness. We began to cook the chicken patties and broccoli on the stove top, and while we started that we decided we should make the cake as well. We went to preheat the oven only to then be confused on how to turn it on. The stove is a gas stove and requires a match to light. We quickly figured out that that oven uses the same concept to get hot.
None of us actually really knew how to light the oven, so I decided I would figure it out. We turned on the gas and lit a match and placed it over the small pipe in the center of the oven. The flame was sucked into the pipe and quickly disappeared. Confused, I left the over open and called everyone over. I was certain that was where I was supposed to light the flame but nothing happened. So we tried again. I was perched right in front of the oven, where the gas was pouring the whole time with three of my teammates standing around me. I lit the match and placed it in the same spot and this time that flame sustained. It worked but I was still confused because I have never used an oven like this before and I thought that the flame was supposed to be dispersed throughout the bottom of the oven. The oven remained open a little longer, with even more gas pouring out and I decided I would try and light one more match and try to light the rest of the oven up. Little grate type holes ran along the right and left sides of the bottom plate and I decided I would place the match in one of those to see if the rest of the bottom would start.
Still, in front of the oven, I place my hand in with the lit match and all I remember next is a huge flame and an explosion sound and I was flown back with my teammates to the back wall of the kitchen. The oven tipped over and everything we were cooking on the stovetop fell onto the ground. Terrified, I immediately started crying and my teammates helped pull me out of the kitchen and the dining hall because we were convinced it would catch flames any second. I remember getting out into the dining hall and collapsing from fear and shock and Madison pulling me up and saying “we have to get out of here!!”. Next thing I know; I am crying on the sidewalk outside of the kitchen. At this point, I hadn’t assessed my injuries, but I was just thankful that we were out of there and everyone was okay.
My team kept asking me if I was hurt but I couldn’t feel anything. My body was still shaking. Selina noticed that I had oil on my foot and once I calmed down a little bit I began to feel the burn, literally. My foot was covered in oil from the broccoli and chicken falling off the stove (we think but are still unsure). Then, I took a second to run my hands over the rest of my body. No other signs of oil or burns, but my face felt like it had been baking in the sun for a few hours. I touched my face and as I felt my left eyebrow I noticed the texture. my eyebrow was fried. I slowly moved my hands up to my hair to feel that the entire front/hairline of my hair was fried as well. I gathered myself together and walked back to our house while the rest of my teammates went to check out/ clean up the kitchen. When I got to the house I took a minute to breathe and sit and cry and then I went to go wash my face off in the bathroom. Lucky for me, our bathroom has LITERALLY FIVE mirrors so I could see myself in full display. I took one look at myself and started sobbing noticing that my eyelashes were burnt so short on my left eye, my eyebrow was a wreck and my hair looked I was straight out of a mad scientist movie. I was horrified and humiliated.
I have always defined my beauty in things that made me feel strong. My hair is something that has always been important to me. My eyelashes are also something I hold very dear to my heart. I know it seems silly, but when I see myself in the mirror the first thing I notice is my long, dark eyelashes. They were the only thing that always made me feel beautiful. I have always received high praise for having such pretty natural lashes, and that began a small war in my head about superficial beauty. “I am beautiful because I have long eyelashes.” Or “I am beautiful because my hair is healthy and styled” are the phrases I often tell myself. Truly, they were the only things that I relied on to make myself feel “pretty” because I didn’t like anything else about me.
I knew the race would test my limits about my self-image issues because often I don’t wear makeup or even think twice about what I look like because of certain ministry. I could always count on myself still looking somewhat presentable, however, because of my eyelashes. They just added something to my look and I was convinced that if I had my eyelashes, I would still look okay.
Now they’re fried. They’re uneven. They’re different. But different is beautiful, and different doesn’t define me. My beauty was never measured in the length of my eyelashes. My worth was never determined by how good my hair looked. The father created me in His likeness. My worldly ideas of beauty have been momentarily paused so I can see the truth of Him and His creation.
My battle with loving myself has been waging on for far too long, and I’m ready to raise my white flag. I don’t need to be in a battle with myself. The Father created me exactly how he wanted to, and I am worthy. I am worthy because of HIM. It sucks that it took an exploding oven and all of my eyelashes being crispy to realize this, but if this is the only way I would get it through my head that I AM beautiful, so be it.
God provided some REAL safety and His hand of protection over my life has never been so clear.Thanks, God for keeping us safe and teaching me valuable lessons.So last Saturday the oven exploded, and this week I have been learning what it means to love myself without the things I have identified my beauty in.
p.s. the oven is fine and the kitchen is still in one piece.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4
“So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them…”
Genesis 1:27
God created ME in His own image, in the image of God He created ME.
