Sitting there, looking at my pack, I wondered “how I am going to drag this thing to the airport with me?” We were just a mere 13 hours away from leaving for Training Camp in Georgia and I had packed, and repacked, and repacked again about 17 times.
I arrived in Atlanta and realized carrying this pack really doesn’t get any easier. Trotting through the airport, confused on where I can rest, I entered through some double doors to see a pile of packs just like mine and a group of kids saying “world race?”. I nodded and shyly sat down to take this load off my back.
Nervous.
Shy.
Fearful of what the next ten days will have in store.
Thankfully, I was able to get adjusted with my squad fairly quickly. I have never met a group of people from all over America that I was able to get comfortable with as fast as I did with my squad. Squad V’s encouragement and spirit was everything I didn’t know I needed to help me survive training camp.
Night one was hard. I don’t consider myself the most outdoorsy gal, so when I had my tent pitched and all my supplies set up for the night I was quite proud of myself. That moment of reassurance quickly faded when I entered into my “home” to sleep that night. Uncontrollably, I just sat there and silently sobbed wondering “Am I cut out for this?”
After ten days of roughing it, I realized no, I am not cut out for this but THANK YOU GOD for calling me with plans to equip me. He doesn’t always call the equipped but will surely, always equip the called.
So we went. 10 days of strange food and special eating customs. 10 days of bucket showers and daddy long leg spiders. 10 days of heightened emotions and heartfelt conversations with the Lord. 10 days of heartfelt conversation with one another. 10 days of encouragement and endless laughs. 10 days of authentic worship and incredible learning. 10 days to show me that I am not equipped but he has 100% called me.
Training camp was simultaneously everything I expected and nothing I expected. I titled this blog “Leave all fear at the door” because that’s exactly what you have to do. Leave all fear, leave all expectations, leave all insecurities. And no, I am not saying that it’s easy to do, but when you choose to give you fear and anxiety to God he will show you the works that will come from that. Your vulnerability is valued. Your hurt-heart will be mended. Your fear will be silenced. Just leave it at the door.
Thank you training camp for the incredible experiences, life changing moments, and for giving me a glimpse of what these next nine months will have in store. 7 weeks till launch. God, help me leave my fear at the door.
