Saying “yes” to the yes
This blog post has been in the works for quite some time now, I apologize for my lack of posting! I have been prayerfully considering the words to write and seeking the guidance to allow my rambling make sense. With that prefaced, enjoy the new blog!
Yes, to the “yes”. When going into the application process for the race, I knew based on my acceptance to the program I would have a clear “yes” or “no” on whether the calling I heard was legit. I knew my acceptance answer would be the answer from God on whether or not to go on the race.
The “yes” came sooner than I expected. Sooner than my heart was prepared for and that’s when things got sticky. I knew that Gods plan for my life was solidified in that single acceptance call but I was still torn. I thought this answer would turn a switch in my mind; That I would feel ultimate peace about going and leaving behind what I have worked so hard to get to. All my life I have worked for my grades. I have worked to be an exceptional student so I could continue schooling after high school because it has always been something I have enjoyed. This “yes” made me feel like I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Two amazing opportunities, one EXTREMELY HARD CHOICE.
God put me into this situation which allowed me to go into a season of prayer. I prayed for peace, I prayed for guidance, I prayed for understanding and I prayed for direction. I didn’t pray over the answer. I didn’t listen to what he laid so clearly out in front of me. I though he was giving me a choice, and if I failed to choose the correct one, I would regret it for the rest of my life. Although God gives us the discretion to choose in the here and now, our life is completely planned out for us. Every turn, every speed bump, every traffic jam and every smooth coast. This “yes” wasn’t a choice but it was a direction. A direction that I so clearly ignored because I was stuck in a place of not wanting to give up and go be.
I thought it would be easy to hear that call form Adventures in Missions that day. I thought I would feel relieved and that I would be comfortable in the plan He had. I was not though, and the more I realized I wasn’t comfortable, the more God revealed to me that I was not called to be comfortable but I was called to be pushed in my faith. Saying “yes” to Gods yes was hard. It was hard to put complete trust in something so foreign (quite literally). God continues to reveal how worth it is going to be in my life though. He has shown me new passions and new excitement for things I would have never imagined for myself.
In church a few months ago, as I was praying on the decision and was praying over choices, I asked God to seek me. I asked him to seek my heart and show me in the inner workings of myself. I asked him to guide me, to send me out into whatever setting I need to be in to bring glory to His Kingdom. When I remembered that prayer, and when I remember what I asked him to do in my life and in my heart I began to have peace. Not peace in the fact that my life is changing and I have no control, not peace in leaving everything behind but peace in knowing that God always has my back. He has searched me and will guide me through every turn of life and every traffic jam. His ways are becoming clear in my sight.
“yes God, guide me”
“yes God, use me”
“yes God, y e s.”
I Chronicles 16:24
“declare his glory among all nations, his marvelous deeds among all people!”
