We just finished up Cambodia and we have a mini debrief for a couple days in Battambang. I try to use these debrief times for processing the last month or so and just reflecting on what is happening in my life. So I feel like the Lord is asking me to be vulnerable and share what He is teaching me in my life. In order to process, I ask a few questions and just go from there.
The first question I asked was…
1. What did the Lord show me this month?
~I feel like the Lord showed me the meaning of simplicity. What it means to be free of the complex things and to live life with out any other distractions. We didn’t have the luxury things that we think we needed. Just getting the idea that I need more of God from my head to my heart and that thanking Him in the midst of different circumstances is the key to unspeakable joy! I also feel like God was showing me that He sees me and hears me. One night while worshipping outside under the stars, I was just praying and asking God to just reveal Himself to me and then a shooting star went across the sky. I was like Okay God, I’m listening! He speaks to each of us in such unique and special ways- it’s challenged me to always be looking and listening for His voice.~
2. What am I leaving behind?
~ My pride. God is still revealing to me how this root of pride shows up in my daily life. This month was in the form of control. Even though I might not share that out loud with others often, its still in my heart. It’s learning to be okay if someone does something different than I do, and seeing their heart behind it. Just getting back to appreciating the gifts that everyone brings to the table and not comparing. It’s taking the gifts that God has given us and holding them with an open hand and being willing to share those gifts with others for nobody else’s approval but God’s.~
3. What areas does the Lord want me to grow in?
~Choosing people- entering their journey and being vulnerable.
~Not complaining- seeing the ways to be thankful in all situations!
~Intimacy with the Lord- taking time to think about how He thinks of me!
The last thing I asked the Lord was for a word for 2019. I didn’t get the word right away. It actually came to me several hours later. I took a walk around the city and was just praying and talking to the Lord and this motorbike drove right around the corner where I was standing. As I was looking at the mother driving the bike, there was a baby and then the dad riding on the back. The baby had the mothers hair grasped in her fingers and was pulling. The dad was carefully pulling one finger away at a time to release the moms hair.
That’s when the Lord spoke to me. He said Release. Release the expectations you have for yourself, release the ideas of where your relationships should be, release the comparisons, release all the things that you are holding on to so tightly and just let me hold them for you. I feel like God is slowly opening my hand even though I want to hold on so tight.
I just want to encourage you to ask the Lord what He has in store for you for 2019. Take time to process this last year and look back at all the areas you grew in and ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to grow in this year. These are all things I’m still learning and going through as well but as I continue to spend time with the Lord, the more I know His voice.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM CAMBODIA! I hope 2019 is the best year yet.
Charla
