You know how sometimes you’re sitting somewhere and you feel a nudge? You’re not sure what it might mean, but you know somethings coming up. So you keep your eyes open and look around. Then you suddenly KNOW what the nudge was about and still you just sit there.
I felt that a while ago. And I knew what the nudging was about and still I sat because I was scared.
In looking at the end of the Race coming up, there were a few things I thought might be likely I’d end up doing. Knowing that I was going home in a month, and not knowing what I was going to do was a bit unsettling for this very organized person. I know I’ll always have a place to sleep; I don’t know what I’ll do to make money, or how I’ll react when the fast-paced life of Holmes County comes swirling around me.
But I wasn’t prepared for where He was taking me.
The ‘WR people’ let us know of a few options they have in place for those coming home from the race. There is a re-entry kind of seminar; there’s a discipleship option; there’s a Kingdom school; there’s squad leading; and more. (By the way, these options actually have official names, but I like to simplify things.) And one of those things was staring me in the face, and God was nudging me to look into it more. So I just ‘looked into it’. But it became apparent that I was supposed to actually apply for it, and that’s where I stalled a bit.
Why would I do that? More unknowns? More stepping out in complete faith? More being away from family? More stretching in uncomfortable ways? But I did. I said ‘Ok, God. I’ll do this. Cause You said to. Not cause I understand it.’
And I felt peace. I knew I did what God said to do.
A week later, I was wondering why I said yes. Cause God said ‘No’.
Why did He make me go through all the ‘stuff’ associated with saying yes, when really He was just going to say no?
I don’t know.
But He does. And I’ll have to sit in that and know He’s got a plan for this girl who doesn’t know which end is up sometimes. Maybe He wanted me to know how say YES cause I’ll be saying it a lot in this unknown future of mine. I’ll always say YES to the Father!
