You know when you’re so tired, you lay your head down on a table and you don’t have the energy to lift it again?
Yep.
That happened yesterday. We had just walked into a little coffee shop to use their bathroom and someone got a brownie for a snack. I had looked at the hill just before this spot and thought, ‘No way can I walk up there. No way can my feet move and get myself to the top of this hill.’ I don’t remember how I got up the hill, but I put my head down on that table and tears came for no reason other than my mind had stopped trying to keep up.
I thought about asking if I could walk the other direction from the rest of my team and go home while they finished the morning ministry. But even as I thought it, I felt a peace about continuing and I knew that my strength wasn’t my own. And I knew I would climb more hills and walk more miles and go up and down countless more stairs and I would have the strength to do it.
Because that’s God.
Our schedule here in Nepal has been pretty hectic. I thought I could probably handle it. But no. God needed me to recognize that it’s too hard to do in my own strength – but only with Him is it even possible.
And I choose to sing:
When the day/night is long
When my knee hurts
When I am discouraged
When I am so tired
When my breath is weak
When the shadows fall
When every time I step outside our door, I know I will walk a mile to get anywhere
When the hill gets long and I can’t breathe because of the mask I wear to keep some of the dust out of my system
When I’m stuffed into a bus and everyone around me is either coughing or sniffling
When my neck is stiff and won’t turn cause I slept on a hard surface
When I need to know You’re in control! I will still choose to sing!
Hallelujah! You are good, You won’t be shaken!
These are a few words that spoke to me yesterday as I gathered strength for our afternoon of ministry. I got to rest and lay in bed for an hour just soaking in the Father and His promises.
Some of those phrases are lyrics from a song called ‘I will Sing’ by City Church. I’ve listened to it every day, all day since Victoria told me about it. (The album is called ‘The Calm’)
