I was rejected from The World Race. And here I am, one year later, on The World Race.
I heard about The World Race on a past mission trip. I didn’t know what my life would look like after graduation, but somehow I always felt college wasn’t what was waiting for me. I desired to see the world, love on others, and play a part in helping cultivate change. I looked up The World Race and everything lined up. I knew I had to apply. This was for me.
The next year and a half the race was it. There wasn’t anything else. This was the plan. I don’t know what would come after, and I wasn’t worried about after. I just needed to know I was going. God gave me very clear signs to apply. Routes were filling up, and I still hadn’t convinced my parents to let me apply. The route I wanted, waitlisted, then completely full. I was so frustrated. I was running out of time. One morning, after giving reason after reason to let me apply, it was still a no. I sat in the car upset, and opened my phone to check Instagram. The very first post that appeared on my feed was by theworldrace. The caption read, “Don’t let someone else’s guardrail limit the view God has for you.” Um OKAY God. 15 minutes later, I was sitting down at a restaurant eating breakfast outside with my mom when the $15,800 that I had to fundraise was brought up. I look over and there, laying on the ground a few feet away from me was $10. Um OKAY God. At this point, not applying would literally be an act of disobedience. It was that clear.
I was finally able to apply. Not an easy application process. It dove DEEP. It was long. The World Race application asks you to lay down your pride, come as you are, and admit your every fear and failure. They want to know your life. I looked at the page with all the boxes I checked and couldn’t do it. It felt as if somebody was trespassing where they do not belong. I didn’t want to have to share this. I was nervous. I had heard The World Race wants people with limited emotional baggage. Ha, definitely not me. But I believed that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I had faith. The day of my interview, I set my alarm so early. I woke up, and tried to prepare for something I had no idea how to prepare for. I just had to pray and trust that God would equip me since He called me. I sat on my bed, set up everything, and waited for my phone to ring. A Georgia area code. So many jitters. This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for. This was my time. The time I would get to share my story. The time I would get to share my heart behind my passion for missions. The time I was meant to go on the race.
The World Race was the only plan. Then all of a sudden, that plan was no more. I was rejected. They said no. More than a year and a half of patient waiting, trusting, and expecting, all shattered in a 2 minute call. I was told to get one year of counselling, then I could reapply. Honestly, I was angry. I wanted to share my testimony. I wanted to share my heart behind my yes. The interview was very focused on my past trauma, and didn’t leave room for much else. I didn’t get to share how God worked in that, or how He revealed my calling to mission work in this. Did anyone care to know me beyond victim? Did anyone care enough to seek deeper, redeem my hurt the way God did, and bring truth to light? I felt that they heard “emotional baggage” and wrote me off. But I am so much more.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt so abandoned, and so unheard. So I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I cried A LOT. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t apply to any colleges. College wasn’t even in the plans. What now? I was lost and confused. It didn’t make any sense. Maybe this wasn’t His plan.
Being rejected from the race felt like a slap in the face. It made me feel like everything I went through in the past was all in vain. So many lies, and so many fears returned. I felt as if in that one decision, they had given the power back to my abusers that I fought so hard to be free from. No matter what I do, no matter where I go, what they did to me is still controlling my life. It wasn’t fair. I had finally found freedom from the identity I carried under the people in my past who hurt me, and instead chose to embrace my identity in God and the perfect plan He has for my life. I know I have emotional baggage. But in this, I have chosen to let God carry this for me. We are not meant to carry the burden of our pain. The hurt I have from my past does not make me any less worthy to bring His kingdom. Your past does not define you, it refines you. Believe this.
I have been gifted with a lot of passion. I feel called to bring justice and truth to light in every situation. In my rejection, there was nothing left for me to do but ask the Lord. I was lost. I felt God tell me not to sit passively. To utilize my passion for justice to advocate for what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will continue to do in my life. If there was more that needed to be spoken in truth, let it be spoken. So I took a few days to process. And then I called back.
I called back to get clarity. I needed clarity for the decision that came to place. Calls after calls. I spoke to listening hearts. I got to share a story of hope. My story. I got to share that I understand. That it is vital that every racer is mentally and emotionally stable to go through the upcoming 9 months walking in their full potential. Mental health is VERY important guys. I am passionate about this. I came into each conversation with a mindset of seeking to understand. And they came in with a mindset of seeking to understand. I felt heard, and seen. The final call, I was put in touch with the person who would make the final decision. She told me to wait. The few minutes I waited, my heart was pounding. I prayed. I prayed so hard you guys. And when she came back on the phone a few minutes later, she said I was accepted.
I was a world racer. I AM a world racer.
I have felt called to missions since I was sixteen. I felt called to missions during the darkest place I have been in. A time when I almost took my life because I found no purpose in living any longer with the amount of pain I was drowning in. But I clearly heard that this was not His plan for me. He had so much greater in store, but I had to wait. I really didn’t know if I could. Then I found 1 Peter 1:6-9. It spoke into my life and reminded me that there was a purpose for the hardships I was enduring. That it strengthens our faith, and will be used for His glory. That one day, He will use what I went through for good. Now, I get to share my story of hope and redemption, and share that hope with others. To let them know that they are not alone. I get to speak truth into their lives that I would not have discovered if I wasn’t put through the suffering I was. It was not in vain.
There is so much beauty in the brokenness. God reveals this to me daily. Over and Over again. That He uses me for His good even when I am broken. Even when I don’t think I am worthy. Even when I don’t think I am ready. He calls me.
God has you right where He wants you. I had to fight to be here. I fought for something worth fighting for. It wasn’t easy. I truly believe that God was teaching me how to use my voice and step into a role of power that had been taken away from me my whole life. I was always told that my voice doesn’t matter. That I was not allowed to voice my opinions. God asked me to do the opposite. He has gifted me a voice, and He called me to rise up and step into the role of power that had been waiting for me since the beginning. In this rejection, He reminded me that my voice does matter. That my story is worth being told. And that I don’t deserve to sit in silence any longer. He made it very clear this was where I am supposed to be. This was no accident. It was time to not only share where I came from, but share where I am now, and be proud of my story because He designed it. This is my time to rise up and use the voice God has gifted me with. My time is now.
One year ago, I was rejected from the World Race. One year later, here I am on the World race, and fully funded.
His plan is truly the greatest adventure of all.
XOXO, Cat
