Santa Rosa de Copan, Honduras, has been one of my most favorite months on The Race. It has also ruined a lot for me!
It struck true on all the different components that makes an experience memorable. Of all the months so far, this one reminded me the most of home. The cool crisp mountain weather felt like the beginning of Fall in Boone. The delicious, Americanized, home cooked dinners by our host and shared with their children felt like Thanksgiving with family every night. It was the perfect way to end Central America and the perfect way to end my 4 month journey with my first team as we will undergo team changes in just a few days when we arrive in Africa.
The Spanglers were the host family that we stayed with this month. Matt and Marianne Spangler founded The Legacy of Hope Foundation here in Santa Rosa. Among other focus’s, it’s primary purpose is to promote holistic solutions for foster care. On top of that, they raise 9 children, 7 of which are adopted. They set such incredible, Godly examples of what it looks like to be a parent, spouse, friend, and believer. Ministry for us this month was to help with putting the finishing touches on the crisis care center for children to live in. It mostly consisted of painting, building tables, a couch, and bunk beds. We also helped with organizing the bodega which is a room where they keep various clothes for children. This month FLEW by and I know I’ve said that before, but I think as our journey progresses and we become more comfortable in our Racer role, the places become less like “ministry” and more like home.
So how did God “ruin” everything? Well that was just a play on words for when we ventured through the Mayan Ruins but as I initially looked at it as a clever blog title, God began revealing to me all the things He has ruined thus far on The Race.
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God is ruining all the lies the enemy tells us and is pouring His goodness into the holes in our hearts.
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God is ruining my perception of 3rd world countries and revealing that there is hurt everywhere.
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God is ruining the limitations I put on myself because He is limitless.
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God is ruining negative cycles in my heart and in my daily life.
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God is ruining how I perceive people who ask for money as lazy beggers to people in true need physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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God is ruining the doubts and is replacing them with provisions and promises.
God ruined everything. He completely wrecked me. The person I was before The Race, the perspective I had on things and people, my entitlement, all the ugliness in my heart; He took it all. He actually took it to the cross, but it took me til this point in my life to see that in more than one way. The thankfulness I have for Him is in constant overflow because there is no cup big enough to ever capacitate that. God ruins quotas, He ruins deadlines, He snaps measuring sticks in half. Don’t get me wrong, God has expectations. Only a few really. To love Him, to love ourselves, to love others, to spread The Gospel, and to make disciples. 1 Corinthians 13:2 tells us that all the things we do in life are meaningless if love isn’t attached to them. Not to only love the people that are easy to love, but to love our enemy. To love the adulterer. To love the thief, To love the prostitute. To love the drug addict. To love the wealthy and corrupt. To love the alcoholic. To love the unlovable. Why? Because Jesus loves who we are. Our ugliness. And who are we to measure a person’s “worthiness” of love when we ourselves are not.
Letting God in to ruin and wreck all the lies in my heart has been the greatest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a difficult thing to truly convey but the peace and joy that He has placed in my heart wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t let Him in and let shame out.
This is my last blog post coming from Central America!!!! The next time you hear from me, I’ll be on African soil! As always, thank you so much for reading and keeping up with this journey!! Keep my squad and I in your prayers as we venture on our 50+ hour travel day(s)!! I love you all so so much!!
Best,
Carsyn
