Imagine waking up at 4 in the morning everyday to walk 3-5 miles and rummage through trash in hopes to come across plastic or glass objects to make a living. And not just any trash; trash that has been picked over 3 or more times by others, trash that contains some of the most vial, gag reflex engaging aromas you’ve ever smelled (keep in mind, used toilet paper goes in the trash in Central America). These people are known as bottom feeders who are lucky to make pennies a day and my team and I had the privilege of serving them last Wednesday and I had the privilege of sharing a message with them.
Something amazing that The Lord is teaching me this month is rejecting the spirit of comparison. Coming on The Race, I didn’t take into account how much I would compare my life to others. Even more so, I thought my struggles were insignificant compared to the struggles of people I was ministering to. One of our hosts helped us break through this lie the enemy was feeding us. Our host said that “the people here are no different than us. This has been a trend in their lives for generations and they don’t see themselves as struggling or impoverished, it’s just their way of life. What they really need is Jesus because their struggles are so similar to ours, such as divorce, abuse, health problems, abandonment, drugs/alcohol abuse, self harm, etc.” Keeping in mind what our host said, I volunteered to be the one on our team to share a word with 40 plus people who are defined by their culture as bottom feeders.
We were escorted into the dump by Andy, a retired fireman from the states who moved down to Nicaragua to work in ministry along with Jesse, our translator. Jesse is a Nicaraguan local who, before giving his life to Christ, lived in L.A where he was involved in drugs, gangs, violence, and even murdering people. I haven’t heard his full testimony yet, but man I can’t wait! As we started setting up the food distribution station, my nerves began to set in. On the way to the dump, I prayed that God would highlight something to share and that what I spoke would be His words and not mine. He almost instantly brought Jeremiah 18:4-6 to my mind. It’s one of my favorite pieces of scripture because it says that God wants to take all of our ugly, broken, marred, pieces and make us new and beautiful in His image; a testament of His goodness and grace. In my head I was like “yes! This is good, it’s simple, relatable, and so encouraging!” However, after Jesse translated the verse, he looked at me with a stern, intense gaze and just said, “woah.” Initially, my mind automatically assumed “Oh crap he hates it. Oh crap he thinks it’s stupid. Oh crap they think I’m trying to say my struggles are on the same level as them.” I also didn’t gain any reassurance from him when he immediately followed my message with another message in Spanish so I had no idea what he was saying. Again, my mind automatically assumed the worst. “Oh crap, what I said was stupid so now he has to cover my tracks and make me sound less ignorant.” Isn’t it crazy how we give doubt an inch and the enemy takes a mile?
Later on that day, we went out evangelizing with Jesse and the first people we encountered were 5 guys who Jesse has known since they were little boys. They are now gang members who get high, drunk, and inflict self harm. Jesse poured into the boys for over 30 minutes and can you guess which verse he centered his message around? If you said Jeremiah, you would be right! Needless to say, that was an automatic affirmation that silenced all the negative thoughts that were swarming my brain about my message.
The next day, a teammate and I were sitting with Jesse at lunch. He was giving us a little snippet of his testimony and brought up the verse in Jeremiah again. He talked about how it applied so much to his life and that he has been sharing it with people when he evangelizes. Instantly, I was overjoyed by this and super flabbergasted that something The Lord spoke through little ole me had an impact on someone. Obviously coming on this trip, I expected to share the gospel and minister to people but I never felt significant enough to think that God would use me to share His gospel until this moment, when I actually saw the fruit from it.
It’s crazy, wild to see how our Father moves within us and uses us to advance the Kingdom!! I’m excited to continue stepping into this and making space for The Holy Spirit to keep growing me!
Thank you guys for reading, keeping up with my travels, loving me, and praying for me. It brings me so much joy to share with you guys how God is moving within our squad!
