The puppy pack definitely had the craziness this past week held coming for us with how blessed we had been with our host home and ministry this, our first month of the race. Prior to launching for the race I had expected to have lived in my tent for the past month, acquired camping knowledge to last a lifetime (or at the very least, eleven months), and have skipped quite a few showers. However, this was not the case for us and not only did we have a home with walls, a floor, and a ceiling, but along with it came a kitchen with plates and silverware (a wok too!), beds for everyone (some of us did end up being ‘snuggle buddies’, but we had sheets…so I definitely can’t complain!), and a bathroom with a water heater (so we even got to have hot showers, bless!). I had felt like a ‘bad racer’ for having it so easy this month, and I kept wondering when the shoe was going to drop.
Well this past week the boot dropped and with it followed the whip of it’s laces. The tohuw vavohuw (Hebrew for chaos and confusion, thanks to Shelby for that phrase!) began when one of my teammates’ phone had stopped charging and showed those unfortunate signs of impending death most all of us have seen in our devices before. Next up was the battle of girl against kidney stones; she won, but it was not a fun couple of days and on top of feeling physically crumby, she had to miss an awesome day taking the students to the largest sundial in Asia.
On a side note: The field trip with the students was really wonderful! Each one of us had a group of eight students ranging from sixth through eighth grade to walk with through the city of Kota Baru from BAIS to the Puspa IPTEK Sundial. The sundial was much like a children’s or science museum with all of its hands on installments and areas for experiments! They even had a bike on a tight rope for the kids to ride; to which I said, “That’s pretty tight!”, which they did not seem to think was very funny, but I still get a little tickled by it.
After the teammate battling the kidney stones seemed to be feeling better and was getting back on her feet, we had another one of us fall sick, this time with ‘Bandung Belly’. Let’s just say it’s not something you boast about and you would probably not want to have hit you when you’re out and about the city. Another teammate’s arms and legs have been so chewed up by mosquitos you would swear the little peaks were drilling for oil in her. Then as this school week began, one of our girls’ eyes was bit by a spider in the middle of the night and had swollen shut! Now that is DEFINITELY not the shut eye any of us have in mind…
I was honestly feeling somewhat unscathed at first, and quite grateful for it, but soon enough we had almost all ‘fallen like flies’ as one of the teachers put it. Before the weekend hit last week (Thursday morning to be exact) my laptop began acting up and I ended up spending Saturday with the girl who’s phone was dying in Bandung trying to navigate between two different malls, five different service centers, and many different employees just to simply get our electronics looked at; oh yeah, and all in Indonesian! As things began looking up for her (she found it was an easy $20 fix of a new phone cord, thankful for that! *raised hands*), things were looking down as I left my computer at a service center in a city that I had only set foot in a handful of times.
Unfortunately I received an email from the service center that my laptop could be saved, but it was going to cost me. I was disgruntled and not a happy camper; I had been feeling optimistic and hoping for the best, but a sunny disposition was no longer in the cards for me. In some ways I felt my anger was valid because I was going to have to figure out how to follow through with all of the “big plans” (vlogging, continuing to run my personal blog, and editing the photos I had taken for postcards and so on) I had for this year. Then I felt foolish for being so upset over a laptop because there were such bigger things in life to focus on; like being sold into human trafficking, not having food to feed your children, living underneath a blanket that’s been propped up by sticks, or having to fear for your life because the religion you believe in is illegal in the country you live in.
Yet there I was, struggling to find God in this moment and wondering why all of this way happening now. Why had we been given such a soft landing, to then have our ‘fruit of the spirit’ go so sour so soon? Were these struggles really even that bad? Did I need to give up my ties to devices and the world beyond the race? Was I reading waaaaaayyyy too much into things? Probably.
People get sick, laptops give out, mosquitos drink blood, life happens; but the thing that was crazy about all of these instances of struggle in our first month were the hidden blessings we discovered within them. The two girls who had gotten sick had their own rooms and were able to get the rest they truly needed because of it. Transportation had begun to fall short, which opened us up to being served by the parents, teachers, and neighbors in our community when they would pass by and turn around to give us rides home (thank you again if you happen to be reading this!) when they saw us walking home or to the market. By not having my laptop I was able to push myself in my journaling to answer harder questions, delve into the details of my days, and flood the pages with my thoughts. Along with the journaling, I found myself brainstorming better story lines for novels and children’s books than what I had been coming up with when free writing on my laptop.
Yes, I was hindered in the plans I had initially made for my blogging this year, but God has a funny way of switching up plans on you when you least expect it. I didn’t think I was going to be on the WR in August, and here I am just a few months later loving my life, the people in it, and the path I am currently on because of HIm. He made that all happen, so maybe this is a learning moment for me? I still don’t have all the answers, but I know I’m going with the flow of what He has in store.
The past two weeks have taught me a lot about keeping my head up and staying positive, problem solving, and following His plan. Being obedient to God is difficult and I’m still learning, I always will be, but by stepping down and accepting the ‘bad news’, I was able to grow as a person through this lesson He had for me. I’m not saying that I’m perfectly fine with the (possible) loss of my aluminum loved one, but I’m moving on a dealing with it by knowing that there is some reason for it. Maybe I needed the time to disconnect from my laptop to get my writing groove back, or to learn that depending on others doesn’t mean I’m a burden, but that they are then given an opportunity to serve and assist me. There could be countless reasons for the qualms myself and my team faced this month, but each one of us grew just a little bit more through them and even my recognizing that fact, tells me I’ve matured a smidge in the few short weeks I’ve been racing.
I’d like to point out that because of writing this post on different devices, I am sharing life from a few days prior with you all and things have changed since beginning this post. After some scrambling on behalf of my loving family (and my favorite big sister in particular!) I have my mom’s old laptop coming my way! *Prayers that it makes it to the Philippines are accepted…and so are donations, lol…but seriously!* I will now be able to (much more easily) continue to keep you updated on what I learn, do, and experience this year, so raise those praises because things seem to be looking up from here!
With love and a little growth,
Candace
