I always knew communication was important but being on the race I’ve learned about communication on a whole new level. Growing up I always kept everything to myself. There were few things about my personal life I would share. At times, I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to, which was a complete lie. I had people but I chose to keep everything in. I thought that if I shared what I was going through or things I did that necessarily didn’t please God they would view me differently. Coming from a family where my Dad is a Pastor and myself constantly being involved in the church I thought I had to hide the way I felt. The enemy would whisper, “You can’t let anyone know that about you. Just imagine what they’d think.” For a while I believed those lies and every little thing I would have loved to talk about with someone got tucked away inside. A lot of my relationships were surface level. Deep down I desired to have someone to talk to but I could not dare to let anyone into my personal life. Which again was the enemy making me feel that way. So naturally I would never let anyone know there were things I wished I could talk about with them.
This past summer at training camp my life was forever changed. Something that Adventures in Missions is very passionate about is learning how to live in community with one another. They do this by challenging us to sit down each day with our teams to engage in team time and feedback. We are encouraged to build each other up and to call each other higher. For the first time in my life I was forced to take a deep look at myself. Things were brought up that I hadn’t thought about in years. Things that sat in my heart and I never talked about. Things I never knew that affected me. I began opening up and as soon as I did that, I received so much healing that I didn’t even know I needed. It was so freeing. It was a beautiful thing to finally be able to talk about all those things I had tucked away inside.
Since training camp, the Lord has been teaching me the importance of opening up and sharing the hard things. At first, it can be so scary. It can feel extremely uncomfortable, but so much freedom comes from it. Something that is super important to me is being a person of integrity. How many times have we lied and said we were okay, or good when someone asked us how we were, when inside we were hurting or simply just not having a good day? I sure have! A lot of times actually. And it’s something I have been convicted about. I want to be a person of integrity and saying I’m fine when really I’m not isn’t being a person of integrity. I know sometimes we may not want to talk about it so it feels easier to say I’m good. But if that’s the case, instead of lying just say I’m not having a good day but I’d rather not talk about it. Most times people will respect that.
God didn’t create us to walk through life alone. He created us to live in community with one another. There are so many levels to good effective communication. When someone does something that offends you the easy thing would be to not say anything. But how are people supposed to change if they never know how something makes you feel. When you have something weighing in your heart and you choose to not talk about it, it’s not going to go away. We need to start being more open and honest with each other. We were created to lift each other up and to call each other higher. Share the hard stuff. Do the uncomfortable. Be real!
To the person struggling, to the person who is concerned about what others may think, to the person who doesn’t want to say something because it may offend someone, to the person fighting with a family member, to the person harboring bitterness, to the person who feels anger towards another, to the person who feels hurt by someone— SPEAK UP! How are people supposed to know how you feel if you never speak up? There are so many people just waiting to love you and encourage you and walk with you through whatever it is you are going through. This is something I am so passionate about. After going a lot of my life holding things in and realizing how much of a negative effect it has had on me I can’t express how important it is to express your feelings. To talk about the difficult things. To simply just voice your thoughts.
I encourage you first and foremost to go to God, but then find someone you can trust. Someone to open up too. Someone you can feel uncomfortable with and know they will still love you the same. Communicate the good, the bad, the difficult, and the easy. It’s so worth it!
Much love and care- Cae!
