My life has been built around structure and schedules. I had begun to believe that without a structure things wouldn’t run smoothly. And there is nothing wrong with schedules, but for me personally without it I became anxious, which in the end became unhealthy. Anyone who knows me closely knows I have a heck of a watch tan line because I never take it off. My mind was very time conscious, which again isn’t a problem necessarily, but for me it become unhealthy.
Ugh gosh my heart is already so overjoyed just to tell y’all the transformation of my heart in a short 36 hour time span.
Our adventure started very spontaneously, and usually my reaction is to pass on the opportunity because there’s so many questions I want answered before I can commit. But ya know the spirit in me said this was something I had to do. We gave ourselves 30 minutes to pack our bags, get dinner, and food for the weekend, this just so happen to be the weekend I did laundry so my clothing options were very limited.
So ya know another situation where naturally I would’ve turned down the opportunity. But God reminded me I have some incredible squadmates who will help you. And then God was like ‘hey, take your watch off.’ So everything in me said, this was going to be a weekend of no questions, no authority, and complete trust in God and those around me. And gosh dang my squadmates were more than accepting of this idea and encouraged me through it.
Seven of us took off for the mountain with our only plan being our transportation there.
AGAIN, so unlike me to be okay with no structure, but I didn’t allow the lack of structure and schedule stop me from being fully present with them. I was actually comfortable in not knowing. I found so much joy in the simple things. I allowed others to fully pour into me and recieved it.
It wasn’t joy in the unknown, but joy in knowing that in the unknown things were going to be okay. Because God ya know.
I could go into all the details of the weekend, and if you would like to hear those I will gladly tell you all the stories. Until then, here’s a quick summary.
Leave. Campsite. Dinner. Hammocks. Mountain side sunrise. Temple. Hitch Hike x3. Hike. Waterfall. Home.
God showed me life was completely possible to not have the structure I’ve been used to. A wave of peace washed over me and gosh I can’t even explain to you how joyful I have been since that weekend. The beauty that surrounds me and in me covers all the fears I could possibly have.
With love,
B
