I’m going to be completely honest with y’all, this past week has been a huge struggle for me. I ordered my cap and gown for graduation in 43 days and feelings of doubt hit me hard. I began to question if I was making the right choice. Graduation meant finding a job, and a new job is difficult when you only have three months. Graduation meant friends moving away that I had been close with for years. Graduation meant the World Race is getting closer, but there was still so much to be done. What was I to do after post WR? I’m watching friends have children, get married, and start their career. Is this what I am supposed to be doing? I feared the change.
My already early bedtime of 9:30 came earlier, and I distanced myself from everyone who was willing to help. I put up walls and dug myself into a hole. I worked myself up and began to doubt all my actions. Doubt filled my thoughts for days. I limited my interactions with others at work and only did what had to be done.
What an awful hole to be in. The only way out is up. I put up the two side rails of the ladder, and eventually, God revealed each rung to me through my friends and family.
A beautiful friend of mine reminded me that I am not alone. That this period of struggle isn’t made only for me. That I am surrounded by friends, who love me and are willing to help me. That no matter what God will always be with me.
Another amazing friend reminded me that there will always be other options, there will always be something better. But any choice I make will not be wrong as long as I am walking hand and hand with God. It’s only a year, and there will be just as many options when I return.
There will be a job available when I return. My friends will always be a text or phone call away no matter the distance. There’s no rush to life. There’s no timeline that we have to follow. We each have our OWN story and there’s no comparison among those around us.
I would not be here without all my family and friends for encouraging me and supporting me on this journey. Nowhere in my application did it say there was only going to struggle on the race. Each struggle between now and then will strengthen and prepare me for what is yet to come.
Remembering to find the calm in the storm and that His love will always prevail and strengthen us when we need it most.
So Much Love,
B
