How do I even begin to share what has been happening?
First of all THANK YOU to all my supporters!! I’ve gone from 50% funded to over 75% in 2 weeks!! Wow! Deadlines mean nothing to God. I honestly felt like every missed deadline was a nail in the coffin on my WR journey, like it was me being told I’m not supposed to be here. Honestly this morning I was sitting in my hostel room (after an abrupt and ugly evening last night where my day was cut short because my tachycardia acted up) thinking about going home early; I didn’t see how the funding would come and felt like maybe I’m not supposed to stay on after all… I grabbed my phone to message my Mom and Dad and tell them how I was feeling when I thought to check my funding profile online really quick (honestly I rarely check it because I usually get an email when I recieve an online donation) and IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I see multiple anonymous donations! Huge donations!!! There I was about to concede defeat and it was like God Homself found a way to speak to me, “I’m not done with you here yet.” Talk about a divine intervention! I AM SO GRATEFUL, SO RELIEVED AND SO WOWED. God is so unpredictable in His methods, but he is super predictable in His character (even if it’s hard to see sometimes).
So besides all that!!…
How do I explain how my journey out in hopes to make a difference in the world has really led to the world making a difference in Me?
The challenges I’ve encountered, the sleepless nights, the tears, the nightmares, the pain, the brokenness, the conflict, the self pity, the helplessness, the emptiness, the silences, the victories, the celebrations, the tear filled goodbyes… somehow it’s. ALL. GOOD. Legitimately the Bible verse Romans 8:28 is somehow my life?! “ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD…” every broken moment has revealed and healed some more beautiful and fruitful part of my soul and my story. I know you’ve donated to this journey wanting to be a part of seeing good in the world, and let me tell you THAT IS HAPPENING IN BEAUTIFUL WAYS, but the unexpected truth is that this journey is changing ME. I wanted to grow, sure. I never could have anticipated the changes this would bring in 5 short months. Who was I? I was a broken woman! Guess what? I’m DEFINITELY a broken woman, but it didn’t END there! I’m broken and my brokenness has been the NUMBER 1 way I’ve been able to connect to others and give them hope for their broken pieces, that their stories don’t have to end with the pain being the victor.
I was TERRIFIED of kids before the race! Now I’ve spent so much time working with kids and discovered a GIFT for working with kiddos! I felt like my sexual assaults hurt me and left me damaged goods for a long time, but in reality it’s THE DOOR that’s been open for me to connect to so many people that others just cant get to open! I’ve been able to hug and cry and laugh with girls and boys who’ve been broken, and I told them they aren’t alone, they aren’t worthless, and that they have a future and father above who will always be there for them even in the lowest moments and the loneliest hours.
I want to cry thinking of all I’ve been through in my life. But today I would rather cry because of the BEAUTY I can see coming out of the ashes of those years. There is hope. THERE IS HOPE! Look in my eyes and don’t give up! God LOVES. He loves us all, and the fact that you’re still here is proof enough that He has a purpose for your life that will prevail despite any setbacks or brokenness You walk through! DO YOU HEAR HIM CALLING IN THE QUIETEST CORNERS OF YOUR HEART?! He IS CALLING YOU because ONLY HE can take the brokenness and BRING MORE LIFE from the shattered pieces than we could dream of from a whole soul.
Man, all I can do is say Wow. Wow. He shows up. So just call out to Him.
