Can you Belize it?
Month one is already over and as I type this I am sitting on a veranda in Valle de Angeles, Honduras listening to crowing roosters and church bells. I had a hard time processing Belize while I was there, there was so much I wanted to share but the Wi-Fi being down constantly and the trouble I had processing emotionally and mentally all that I was experiencing… well if you follow my blog then you know that I didn’t get too many posts up last month. So here I am now, finally able to process and share my un-Belize-able October. For starters, I should make sure you as my supporter and reader understand a little about what you can expect of my blogs and blogging style: I am far more the kind of person who wants to invite you into my growth, my processing and my learning and struggles as we journey, than I am as much about the 5 w’s (who, what, when, where, why). I am going to share with you the journey of course! But this journey is bringing to light so many topics that have lain dormant in my soul, and I am the kind who wants to invite you into this journey hoping to connect with those of you out there who have also struggled.
Belmopan, Belize. I have to go back some day; the people have such big hearts. It’s almost difficult to reconcile the amount of brokenness we encountered with the love we were also shown by the Belizeans we met. The pace of life is far less hectic, it really is Belize-time (sometime around the time given) but the day-to-day life is hard. Clean water, hot water, guaranteed food, dry feet, fans to cool you (let alone AC) it’s all a privilege I took for granted. Belize has a bounty of need and a bounty of natural beauty, coconut and fruit trees, rain and laughter. Our first ministry day working with the local primary school was hard for us because of the heat, yet the kids and teachers in a new building didn’t even have electricity to plug fans into and they sat in that hot muggy classroom all day. I was feeling woozy after 3 hours in their library. I was also dressed comfortably, whereas the kids and teachers were in uniforms and dress shoes. The amount of discomfort they endure for an education made me rethink how much chagrin I treated my school years with when I had clean water and AC. Strong kids.
I met Ellroy, only 19 and already handling a second stint in rehab. He grew up in the jungle, very poor, with his parents, brother and sister. His Dad sexually (and otherwise) abused his Mom, and then his little sister. His parents beat them. He was raped by a neighbor man who tied him up and drugged him as a kid. He turned to the bottle in his teen years to deal with all the pain, but now he put himself into a Men’s Christian rehabilitation program, a second time in rehab, and is allowing Jesus’ love to transform him. We spent an evening eating dinner, as well as a morning breakfast, with the men from the program and that’s how I met Ellroy. He is 19, but he carries himself as someone much older and would not stop talking about God’s love. We had to literally force him to stop and eat his meal, haha, or it would have been cold by the time he paused long enough to pick up his fork. He wants to be a youth pastor, he has a great vision and passion for the youth of Belize and see’s revival in Belize on the horizon. He had a contagious enthusiasm for Jesus Christ, and it caused many of us to stop and listen in awe that this young kid could talk so boldly of the change God has worked in him through Christ.
I met Jennifer and Juan. Jennifer is 16, Juan is 14. Jennifer is in 6th grade, loves sports like soccer and wants to join the Belize Army someday. She reminds me of myself when I was younger, I saw a familiar desire to be strong, to be loved as she is, and the particular glint in her eyes that accompany a soul that’s seen great pain. Juan might have a form of Asperger’s, he is developmentally challenged in some form and was out of control and a handful when we first met him at our VBS (vacation Bible school). He is the kind of kid who doesn’t really pay attention in class yet aces all of his tests. They are brother and sister, and both love hugs. They came around the compound a lot the last several days we were in Los Flores (a neighborhood of Belmopan) to visit, do homework and hang out with us. Turns out that Juan is a giant love-ball; but can get a little challenging around other kids; his favorite song was 10,000 Reasons and it played on repeat when he was around. He loved hugs and laughter. Jennifer loved to help out in anyway she could, keeping us company when we cooked dinner and offering a hand. She had such a great sense of humor and I loved giving her hugs, talking about tough-girl topics like the military and laugh as she used my phone to capture candid shots of my team in the kitchen, haha. I found out on our last night in Los Flores from a local I befriended that Jennifer had a brother who had committed suicide. I suddenly recognized where that painfilled (but hidden) glint in her eyes might have been borne out of. She wants a good life, a solid future, and unfortunately not many girls in Belize had that. I want that for Jennifer. I want her to love Jesus so much that she cannot be scratched by life, I want her to be victorious and joyful. I want her to know how loved she is every day of every year of her life. I miss her now.
To be continued…
