Hosea 2:5-8
She said, ‘I will go after my lovers,
who give me my food and my water,
my wool and my linen, my olive oil and my drink.’
Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Then she will say,
‘I will go back to my husband as at first,
for then I was better off than now.’
She has not acknowledged that I was the one
who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,
who lavished on her the silver and gold—
which they used for Baal.
God has been talking to me a great deal through the story of Hosea lately. The prophet who was told to marry a prostitute named Gomer, the good man who brought himself low and loved a woman who was of ill-repute, dirty; and continued to love and chase after her even when she went back to her sins and shame. God used Hosea’s marriage to illustrate God’s relationship with the nation of Israel, and the story speaks today into the heart of the church and the individual when we fall back into our sins that he rescued us from. And oh, oh God, the times we fall from you.
How many times have I failed God? Innumerable.
Yet has God ever abandoned me? Unimaginable.
I’ve experienced that close relationship, that love and fulfillment that comes from a relationship in close communion with God in Christ Jesus; yet I’ve walked away and chosen my sins over Him so many times in my walk. But each time God chases me down, he comes after me, “He leaves the 99” (Matt 18:12) and chases down his daughter (me) and he doesn’t get angry at me and forget me in my sins; he takes compassion on me, he offers endless mercies and grace when I don’t deserve them: all because He loves me.
Last night I was perusing Netflix when I came across a title called The Heart of Man, a film illustrating the example of the Prodigal Son, and oh boy, what a doozy. God used the illustrations from that film to speak to me on a personal level, to say with tears in my eyes, “God, Father, you’re there! You’re with me, you love me!”, something so true and yet so easy to forget when we feel down or alone.
I was reading some of C.S. Lewis’ work recently and in it he said that God uses our desires for the things we truly want, and sometimes he doesn’t allow us the fulfillment of those desires because it fosters a deeper desire for the things this world cannot fulfill for us. Sometimes he holds something back because he wants us to have that hunger to awaken us to the fact that this world is not enough, and when we realize that this world doesn’t fulfill us we are more open to seeking Him out, and when we acknowledge we need Him, when we find our sufficiency in Him- He fills our hearts in ways this world never could.
I cannot help but notice the difference between Gomer, the prostitute, and Mary the sister of Lazarus and Martha. I know that the comparisons usually come between Mary and Martha, and that we know it is better to be like Mary (Luke 10:38-42). But what about Mary and Gomer? That seems the more important contrast for me, personally, because both women had a close relationship with their redeemers- physically present with them- and yet… Gomer chose the old life. Mary chose to be at the feet of the redeemer she loved so much. I can’t help but imagine where their eyes were when they chose where they would be. Gomer, obviously with her head over her shoulder glancing back at her old lovers, her old lusts, longing to experience once again the “pleasure” of her old ways, forgetting what a prison it really was. Mary, at the saviors feet, her focus naturally would only fall one direction- on where she was orienting herself- to Jesus.
My season of choosing to be like Gomer is over, and it was certainly not an easy journey out; the enemy doesn’t like to let go of territory he has stakes in; but Jesus always comes after us, the scars on his hands and feet are the ‘proof of purchase’ that rescues us from the enemy every time we fall again. My season of planting myself back at the feet of Jesus has only just begun, but my orientation is certain, I am not standing at the feet of Jesus, but I am sitting down here, planting myself upon the Rock of my salvation; “With Him there is no shadow of turning” (James 1:17).
I am putting on my identity anew, I am “In Christ” and with daily submission to His Word, His Spirit and his leading I can be like the builder who built his house upon the Rock, (Matthew 7:24-27) and remove this shabby hut on the sand I wallowed in while I chose to be like Gomer. God did not love me less for distancing myself from Him, he cared enough to chase me down and grab my hand and lead me back to Beulah land.
The prayer that has been on my heart lately has been this, “God, take me from a Gomer and make me into a Mary for you.”
I am so excited for what the Lord is preparing me for, and preparing for me on this World Race. I have certainty and peace that this is His calling for me, and I am so grateful to serve a God who loves me enough to Go after me, rescue me, and then to USE ME for His kingdom. It’s like the beautiful old Hymn says…
What a Friend We Have In Jesus.
