The other night, I went night hiking with my little sister (sorry mom). We were walking around, just enjoying the night when I got this feeling like there was someone there. Me, being paranoid, thought that it was an axe murderer because I watch too much Criminal Minds and think there’s a serial killer everywhere. (Side note: DO NOT watch while you’re home alone). Anyways, I got scared and told my sister that we had to sprint back to my car. Of course, there was nobody there, as Kat (my sister) reminded me. We got back to the car later that night and I started thinking, why didn’t I pray for God to comfort me? I got this crazy idea that I could handle any danger that would come my way and that I just needed to tell myself no one was there and I would be ok (oh the lies we tell ourselves).
This situation reminded me of Jesus walking on water and telling Peter to come to him. A little refresher, Peter did walk on water for a quick second, then he realized what was actually happening and freaked out and started to sink. Jesus caught him and said to Peter “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31).
It annoys me that I claim to be a Christian and want to follow him, but when I get in any situation that unsettles me in the slightest, I don’t ask God for protection, comfort, etc. I’m the one who has little faith, Im the one who doubts. My first thought was not to pray for protection/peace, but to run away. Of course I was in no real danger, but I’d like to think that if I were I wouldn’t make the same mistake and instead pray.
The scripture says “And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17:20).
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
These passages make me think what things I’ve overlooked/ missed because I choose to go my own way and not call out to God. It also makes me nervous that if I don’t rely on Him, I miss out on so much next year. I think it would be impossible to make it through without complete dependence on Him; I mean come on, if I can’t pray when I get spooked at night, what am I going to do when I’m in the middle of nowhere in Swaziland and there’s no car to sprint back to? I want to be that person that doesn’t worry in times out doubt and tribulation, but focuses on God and trust he will get me through whatever situation I am in.
I pray that I grow in my faith and my first thought in any sort of situation is to pray to God and I hope that for all of you reading this as well.
Sorry for all the jumbled thoughts
Bri
FUNDRAISING UPDATE: I am officially 75% funded!!! Thank you all for your prayers and generous donations so far, you have really shown me what the church looks like! Love you all!
