Where does my identity lie?
That’s a question we have to continually evaluate and answer over our lives.
There are many things I’ve gotten my identity wrapped up in over my life. I’ve gotten stuck on grades, sports performance, shame from personal shortcomings or sin, and more. Most recently, I’ve really evaluated my life in-depth through reading the book “Victory Over the Darkness” by Neil Anderson (one of the best books I’ve ever read. Highly recommend). This book dives into your identity and everything around it in the most intense detail, and it honestly changed my life and outlook.
So, as team changes have now set in (read my last post to meet my new team!), I’ve again had to evaluate where my identity is at, as I am now serving as the treasurer for my new team. As Treasurer, I’m now responsible for managing the budget for the team which includes lodging, transportation, food, and more. No longer am I a team leader (TL), responsible for communication with our host and leaders, responsible to make sure the team is working together and abiding by World Race standards and requirements; and, I’m not gonna lie, it’s kinda weird.
Until now, I’ve never experienced the World Race through any lens other than as a TL. Being a TL was one of the toughest but also best and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. When I was asked to lead my first team, Rakhma Rua, back in October, I was speechless. I had no idea what to expect. I was one of the youngest people on the squad, had never traveled out of North America (let alone for missions), and, as amazing as they were and are, I had no idea who my teammates really were yet.
Fast-forward to April, 2019. Leading that team of seven men pushed me and helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. God revealed so much to me about gifts that He’s blessed me with, about what it means to be a servant leader, about how to lead men like Christ did, and so much more. I grew more in those four months than I have at any other time in my life.
Now, fast-forward again to May. I’m sitting in a room, debriefing the last four months with one our squad leaders, and he asks me to take over as treasurer for my new team. Immediately, I had a ton of thoughts shoot through my mind. What does that look like? What would my job specifically look like? Why was I asked to move into another role? What did leadership think of the job I had done over the previous months?
While there is some validity in these questions, in the end, what did they matter though?
My leadership assured me it had nothing to do with the job I’d done as a TL, but it was simply where God was leading them and me for this next season of the Race. On top of that, what does my title have to do with leading as God would have me do? Yes, I’ve swapped out a set-up sheet for a budget, but what else changes about what God has called me to do? I’m still called to minister to my team, to lead in the ways God has gifted me, and to invest in the people around me.
So, for this next season of my life on the Race, I’ll be learning what it means to really lead like Christ, even when I don’t have a title or the same responsibilities. I’ll be learning what it looks like to serve someone who is in the role as leader as God would have me do. And, I’ll be staying present and choosing joy and love wherever God leads me.
At the end of the day, a title or role doesn’t make us more or less important in God’s kingdom or change anything about our identity which is based solely in Him. What matters, is how we live in the places God has us and choosing to pour into that present time. That’s what it really comes down to at the end of the day.
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
God Bless!
-Ben
