Here it is!!
The long-awaited guest post is here!
I think sometimes we can get so caught up in our own journeys that we forget others have their own journey and perspective intertwined with and right alongside ours. I know this is the case for me. I can get so focused on the World Race or work or whatever else is going on in my life that I sometimes forget the fact that what I’m going through sometimes affects others just as much as it affects me.
So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce one of those different perspectives; My Mom’s:
I remember when the kids were younger. With homeschooling we spent quite a bit of time together. Whatever we were doing, there we were – TOGETHER. If I ran to the restroom, there was my crew of kids knocking on the door. I often thought, “When will this stop?” I wondered in those yesteryears if they would ever grow up; or if I could take a shower without an interruption. Psalms 127:3 reminds me that children are a gift from the LORD. Children are God’s gift and a sign of His favor.
There were days I wanted to fly away just to have a moment to be me, to be still, and not to be forever needed. However, those days turned into years and soon those memories of toothless smiles and mismatched clothes turned into four young men and one beautiful young woman. Young adults who’ve learned to care for themselves. I remember when I started to feel less needed, but this is a deception! Don’t believe it for a minute. These budding adults need me more than ever, just in different ways now.
No one prepared me for “Letting Go.” They began seeking out their own answers to their many questions. Eventually they went off to college, and I tried to maintain the same level of contact but was met with resistance. I tried to keep my control, which of course, created more resistance. And from the oldest to the youngest, each has been very different in this process, and it is a process. It is a stretch of time crammed together. Oh, how did this happen so fast?
So, as I sit now reflecting, I’m feeling a sense of grief. In their younger years I was praying that they would grow up. I wish those words and thoughts could be taken back now. I miss them needing me like they used to. No longer are we writing our stories together; they are writing their own. Now they are taller than me, own their own cars, and live elsewhere. Three are in college, one is preparing for the World Race and the youngest is dancing in the Nutcracker.
I have learned to listen more. To listen and to hear! In parenting, I often would hear my kids talk, but in the busyness of parenting, I didn’t hear their words. Each of my children are unique. God created them in His image. I want them to share with me their issues. I often forget to tell them that they matter the most, that they are my purpose, and that I want to set aside everything for them. To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be, to let things come and go on their own and in their own time.
Letting go is also a journey with the Lord; to let Him do His job and me do less of my job.
I am reminded that life in Christ is not supposed to be comprised of striving for a better me through “self-help” or human effort, but rather, I need to hold the perspective that it is not about me working harder but instead going to a deeper level of surrender where Jesus through His Holy Spirit is accomplishing all the things listed plus more!
This letting go has taken on a new meaning as son Ben heads out on this World Race. Letting the kids cross the street alone, go to overnight camps, drive their first car, go to college, and now go on a mission trip to 11 countries has brought me full realm to letting go. Each phase is what must happen. It’s one thing to have kids in the home when we can guide them. It’s another to have kids outside the home, because it takes on a new journey of prayer and trust in the Lord.
Control goes out the window. Faith comes in the door.
This last stretch before the finish line is the hardest as they are off in the world depending on me less and Him more. Maybe this is the process of letting go. It’s having faith that they will seek Him first, knowing that my previous role is ending and a new one beginning. Seek Him first and say good bye to control.
It’s worth it!
– Jennifer
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Thank you and God Bless!
Ben
