This past month I have experienced what Christian’s call a spiritual low. For me this has looked like a lack of motivation to read God’s Word, to do my daily devotional, and honestly even at times to pray. I’ve questioned what is the point of all of these things. Do they make a difference? I haven’t really felt God close to me, or have felt my prayers were being heard or even responded to.
For me, this came as a shock and a little bit of a frustration because I had this expectation that the Race would be a time of only spiritual highs (opposite of a spiritual low). This was obviously an unrealistic expectation and it left me feeling discouraged. I did some thinking and realized… WAIT this is normal… this is REAL LIFE….THIS IS REALITY. People back home aren’t always on spiritual highs their whole lives. Even pastors and people that work in the church don’t experience spiritual highs 24/7. It isn’t realistic and that is OKAY.
We are human; Our emotions and feelings fluctuate. Our feelings are an amazing thing that God has given to us. However, we can’t let our emotions control us. There is a little illustration we use on the Race and it goes like this: “You wouldn’t give your 2-year old child your car keys…correct?…The same goes for your emotions and feelings. You don’t want your emotions and feelings driving your car aka your life.” I’ve learned that it is good to allow yourself to feel because suppression never does anyone any good. However, there comes a point where you need to pull yourself out of the emotional tornado and remind yourself what is Truth. For me this looks like reminding myself, even when I don’t FEEL like God is listening to me, or is close to me…the TRUTH is that HE IS CLOSE to me and HE DOES HEAR me. HE IS FIGHTING for me. HE UNDERSTANDS me and gives me GRACE. These are the truths I need to remember when I don’t feel on a spiritual high.
Finally, I would like to say that life has a great way of taking us through different seasons of life. Maybe my time spent with Jesus one season looks like reading his WORD, and another season takes the form of Him spending time with me through nature, or through meditation. I think we, and when I say “we” I mean “myself”, get so stuck in our routines and a “one way-right way” mentality that we don’t give ourselves enough grace to explore new ways of doing things. Maybe through all of this, Jesus, is trying to teach me to not get so caught up in the formality of how I spend time with Him, that I miss all together spending time with Him. But instead to EMBRACE the different seasons and see them as opportunities to GROW.
Thank you for reading and following along on my journey.
Love you all,
-B
