So I wanted to start with introducing me squad! These are the amazing people I will be traveling with for the next year! Meet “O Squad”!
The past eleven days have been busy, intense, fun, exhausting, spirit filled. How to describe the past few days is hard becouse there is so much that as happened. I will begin with the most powerful day I had.
Ill start with “Breaking down Walls”.
Journal Entry 8/8/18 Night time Worship.
“I have no reason to be scared of what you have planned for me Lord. I open myself to you and what you have planned for me. I have walls Lord that need to be broken down, and only you can do that for me. By no mans hands can my walls be broken. I yield myself to you Lord becouse I can not do it on my own I NEED YOU”!
Over the next couple days I was recked by the Holy Spirit in worship times and in prayer times. One day in particular I was in a One-on-One (counseling) I have had past anger issues, along with the fear of being trapped in a corner with only two choices “Fight” or “Die”. I had these two feeling becouse of past hurts, one being an abusive relationship. Two not knowing how to control myself when confronted. I would have in the past rather fight about an issue or pretend there was no issue. Rather than talk to anyone about it.
The One-on-One took about an hour going threw emotions I have ignored for years. I felt brave for confronting them. I said what I did not want to say in front of two people I did not know. I confronted my fear of others I dont know knowing me to personally. Strangers who loved me now knew the things about me I hid in the dark. I was brave it was not easy but now I am FREE!!!
After the One-on-One I wanted to think about what just happened so I walked to the edge of the property where I knew there was a swing. As I walked I felt 10 feet tall in the Holy Spirit. I was literally walking slower than normal becouse it felt so weird. I asked God “What is this Lord?” his response was epic I will never forget it. God told me “Ashley you’ve been held down, satan wanted you to feel small becouse he knew if you ever felt like you do now he had no chance. You feel 10 feet tall becouse in the Holy Spirit you are taller than that. You are a worrier for me. You are an enemy of satan”!
Now at this point I am over the moon. I went to the swing at the edge of the property and just enjoyed being in the presents of God. We talked for a bit. At one point the Lord said to me I wanted to spend some Daddy, daughter time with you I wanted to push you on this swing. I teared up and had to wipe my eyes at the over whelming love I felt from my father. The creator of the universe just wanted to push me on the swing, and spend some time with me. I feel so blessed and so undeserving. The God who created me knew my every step before the foundation of the earth just wanted to spend time with me.
If you are still reading this know God wants that time with you to. He wants to talk to you he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to love you in a way words could never express. Give him the chance ask him to prove himself to you he loves you so much that he will. I leave you with a thought. How diffrent would the world look if we all loved each other like Jesus loves us?
God Bless You All
Love You
Ashley Jones
