Our ministry in Malaysia has been all across the board. Some days it looks like prayer meetings that don’t start until 9 pm. Somedays it’s preparing for or leading a children’s Christmas program. Later this month we will even get to go Christmas caroling for ministry! But what I want to tie into this blog is one of the home prayer visits we did last week. We went to 2 houses and prayed for healing for two men that because of their health were unable to make it to church. We prayed, sang worship songs and brought communion for the men to take. I don’t know much about these families or much about the marriages the men have with their wives, but in both circumstances, I saw sacrificial love. I saw wives help their husbands take communion when their hands were too shaky to hold the bread and wine. Witnessing the love in these two marriages was beautiful.
I had a little bit of a breakdown last month in Thailand. If you listened to my podcast from a few weeks ago, I mentioned that My friend Stella asked me if I truly believed that God loved me. I didn’t even notice, but I hesitated before I could answer “of course He loves me!” But, sometimes I don’t understand the depth of his love. I had been struggling with a lie the enemy had been telling me my whole life. The lie that I was unloved. Particularly in the area of romantic relationships and dating. In hindsight, I can see that the Lord protected me in keeping my dating life to a minimum, but the devil used that to tell me I was unloved, unworthy of a relationship and even undesirable. Looking back, I know the depths of those lies and how it affected my confidence and self-esteem.
I know the depths of how much God loves me, but it was still easy for me to get caught up in a lie I had believed for most of my life. The day before I started having this breakdown/big moment of processing my thoughts I wrote this in my journal as a prophetic word over myself, speaking from God’s point of view. “Everything in all of creation I have done, made and shown you so that you can sit & rest in my presence & know the depths of my heart for you & how much I love you! You are mine; I am proud of you. Rest child, I am yours too.”
Lord, I know the depths of your love for me. Give me grace when my unbelief or doubt creeps in. Lead me in your love to those around me.
Scripture of the day
“Watch what God does, and then you do it. Like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that!” Ephesians 5:1-2 (MSG)
I could post 100 songs about God’s love, but I’ll stick with this one: Extravagant (okay and this one because it’s so good)
Thanks for reading another blog in the fruits of the spirit series 🙂
P.S. My teammate Krista makes these INCREDIBLE and fun weekly vlogs. You can watch all of them here or the recent one of our first week in Malaysia here 🙂
