I turned 19 this last week and the whole week I had been thinking of some of the best moments of my 18th year of life and what the Lord had given me. I thought this would be a perfect place for me to share some feelings about what my 19th year of life will have to offer.
As I turned 19, I came to the quick realization that this year is going to be the most challenging of them all. I’m going to be pushed out of every comfort zone I’ve created, every boundary will be pushed, every nerve will be hit. But I am willing and ready to put my trust in the One who gave me the courage to take this leap of faith. The end of 18 gave me worry and doubt, but the beginning of 19 has given me clarity and hope. I had created a selfish world around, well, me. I had thought of every reason to not continue on this path with Jesus. I had almost talked myself out of it. But as He does, He showed me to lean into His hope and to have faith. This I did and I’ve become more strong in this decision.
Let me go back to the selfish part- for weeks, I had tossed around the idea of not continuing with WRGY simply because of my FOMO. I’m sure some of you are wondering… “FOMO?”. It is me and my “fear of missing out” (FOMO). My friends talked for weeks about moving in together or taking these big trip with each other and I would constantly question myself. Correction: I would question God and His plan. Not my best move, because well, He knows best. Anyways, my FOMO kicked in. I was questioning God and the choice I had made to follow Him so intensely for 9 months, out of a backpack, with 2 pairs of pants, and a sleeping bag. I was rethinking the job that we as children of Christ are called to do because I was being selfish and using fear as a way to cover it. When I am being God-fearing, not fearing His plan. After some serious intervention, God being God smacked some sense into me. He showed me that my FOMO wasn’t a part of His plan for me. He showed me that I am exactly where He wants me to be.
In Romans 10:15 it says this, “And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”. I read these words and I feel the Lord pointing a giant arrow at this verse with about a thousand exclamation points, just begging for me to accept that this is what I am made for. I am being sent. I am sharing the most beautiful love story of all time and showing salvation to those who don’t know it. And I can’t help but be in complete awe of our Creator and the opportunities He gives us to spread the love of Him.
All in all, Jesus has shown me a lot this last year. I have grown in Him nonstop- ups, downs, all of it has ended up in glorifying Him.
This was a very “me” blog, but this was also a feeling that has taken up so much of me in the last couple of weeks and to no one’s surprise, the Lord has shown His faithfulness yet again. He has shown me exactly what He wants me to know, exactly what his plan is, and exactly what I’m supposed to feel.
I think you and I praise Him in the wonders He’s done for me regarding The Race. God is so faithful and my heart is so full of love and hope. He has continuously shown grace and a yearning for me when I have strayed and joy when I’ve returned home. It is through Him I am able to put aside Earthy problems and focus on Him!!
This was long, I know. If you read it this far I am IMPRESSED and thank you.
