This is the third of a multi-week series of what God is teaching me through my enneagram. I recently learned that I am a 2w1, but am continuously reminded that that label does not define me, but through it, God is teaching me deeper into who I truly am through Him.
3. He told me I am a servant.
Okay this one got me. The enneagram 2w1 is literally “the servant”. One of the biggest things that the Lord is growing me in this season is that I am a servant of the Lord. This requires humility, grace, gentleness, and perspective. This means cleaning up after people without gratitude. This means showing honor to everyone, even those difficult to do so. This means leading through example and actions, rather than through words.
Let me set something very straight: This is tough.
The pride in me loves gratitude. The leader in me wants my actions to be seen.
I don’t like being a servant.
Except that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. And how can I view myself as higher than the King Almighty?
“It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28
Servants have a kingdom mindset. Being a servant looks very different depending on the circumstance. In my season right now on the World Race, this means serving my team and my squad. Practically, it involves putting the needs of the group above my own. One of our 7 expectations of a racer is having a kingdom mindset because it is very easy in this season to get caught up in what we have and see right in front of us. We can lose our higher perspective to see the bigger picture. However, though we don’t always get to see the fruit of the labor we are doing, we can rest assured that the work we are doing now will later further the Kingdom of Heaven. Kim Sweeting of Unwalled Journal defined kingdom mindset to be “a fixed mental attitude or disposition ruled by God, i.e., governed by His perspective, will, purposes, plans and desires, that predetermines or decides in advance a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations.” This creates a positive attitude towards unpleasant circumstances because of the hope and assurance that God promises. An example of this would be my ministry for this month. This month, my team has been at an orphanage for kids with or at a higher risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. Uncertain of what the “manual labor” involved when we were told that’s what we would be doing, we arrived with excitement in our hearts to do whatever the Lord asked of us. This ended up being cleaning. Lots and lots of cleaning. The entire first day we spent wiping the walls, dusting, sweeping, and mopping the floors (and walls because they were THAT dirty) in the women’s unit. Their women’s unit is a building consisting of six bedrooms and bathrooms and a kitchen set aside for pregnant women in need of a safe and peaceful place to have their babies. These women all have AIDS and are often very sick when they arrive at the orphanage. Though there has not been anyone living in this unit since May, my team was in charge of deep cleaning this building in the event that one would need a place to stay in the near future.
Amidst the many, many, many spiders and lizards we came across in doing so, it was very easy to get sucked into a negative mindset of complaining and counting down the hours until we got to go home. Fortunately, this is not what happened. Instead, my team embraced the kingdom mindset and took the opportunity to pray over these rooms as we cleaned them. We scrubbed and mopped and sprayed bottles of cleaner all to make these rooms a safe place of refuge for any woman to come in and seek rest. THAT is kingdom mindset, and THAT is what it looks like to embrace servanthood.
Servants also don’t seek gratitude to continue their job. Luke 17:9 says, “And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not.” My interpretation of this story about a servant submitting to his master without gratitude is that no one should expect thanks for what they are already supposed to do. Gratitude for your expected work is grace, not a requirement. This means have no expectations for appreciation. This means no bitterness or resentment when it doesn’t come. Matthew Henry commented, “Therefore, we don’t serve Jesus inwardly demanding that He thank us or praise us. It seems strange that Jesus would thank us, in light of all He has done for us. It seems strange that He would thank us considering all we have left undone. It seems strange considering all we have done has come from Him as a gift and an empowering anyway.” And despite how strange it would be to receive thanks from God, He gives it anyways. “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21) But there is a big difference between receiving gratitude and reward (again, grace) and expecting it. Servants do work and offer themselves as sacrifice for their master because of all their master has already done for them. Servanthood is not a cause, but an effect to a deed already done (i.e. the cross). Living as a servant for Christ in itself is an act of thankfulness – an act of worship, not an act to receive it. The grace He has already given us is enough overflow to satisfy any unsaid gratitude from mere humans.
My enneagram reminded me of my already set-in-stone calling to live life as a servant. It reminded me to embrace the kingdom mindset and not seek gratitude for what is already expected of me. And most importantly, it reminded me to live my life serving the Lord with the utmost joy.
“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13
