With the last few weeks, I have done a lot of reflection and it is crazy to think about where I was just one year ago today and the incredible journey God has brought me on to this place I am now, preparing to go to the other side of the world. In my last blog, I talked about how I came about the World Race, but there was so much that God had prepared me with prior to that blog that led me to this place. Preparations that took years in the making.
It all began with a mission trip to the Dominican Republic in 2016. Here, I found the true meaning of home and love and friendship. Never before had I met people that were so welcoming and accepting of us “outsiders”, inviting us into their homes and providing us with mangoes and gifts. More than the house visits that changed me, however, were the children. The Dominican children showed me pure, innocent love and happiness. Whether we were playing baseball in the street, singing songs under the town gazebo, or laughing and playing the “Down by the Banks” hand game, all I wanted to do was love on these children. They were always so happy and were filled with so much joy. From this trip to the DR, I learned my heart for mission and, more specifically, children.
Fast forward a year, I sat in my desk in Omaha, NE counting down the days until graduation. I was only a junior, but I was already so ready to be done with high school. After my mission trip to DR, I spent months looking everywhere I could to go back and live in the Dominican with the people I grew to love. It took reading the book “Rooted” by Banning Leibscher that I learned that I had to prepare my heart where I was (because I am surrounded by corn for a reason!) before God could take me to another country. After a few months, I was able to change my focus from going back to Dominican Republic to where He wanted me to be and preparing my heart. However, this quickly turned into the “here and now”.
Though it was a recurring problem the first two years of high school, junior year was the climax of the fight for my heart. The summer was great because I went to DR, had an amazing group of christian gals for friends, and was able to fix my eyes on Him and His plans for me, but the school year caused me to lose focus on what truly mattered. I fell back into my old ways of making other things priority to who God says I am, whether it be the status of my friend group, my ACT score, grades, my performance for track, or what my parents said about me, among way too many other things. When I forgot who’s I was, I forgot who I was and this caused me sink into thoughts of unworthiness and failure, rebellion against my parents, and close myself off to any friends trying to help.
It was not until this summer at a church retreat when God, so gently, reminded me that He was there – that He had always been there. I remember breaking down on the last night as testimony after testimony of fellow high schoolers described the redemption and freedom that God has delivered. It was in those stories that I was reminded that none of the “things” I had been seeking could compare to the greatest of beings: my God. I had no idea what the weekend would hold, but God knew my struggles and provided me with a weekend at this retreat, also known as the A1 student advance because the theme was learning to be a generation that seeks an audience of one. Because of this retreat, I was able to open up and tell my honest story for the first time to my small group leader. Because of this retreat, I learned my true worth and that the only opinion worth fighting for is that of my God. Because of this retreat, I was able individualize the cross and that I, Amy McWilliams, am a daughter of THE King.
That brings me to this year, senior year. Since this summer, I have been going to a new church (the same one that the A1 retreat was through). I have met some amazing people, mentors, and friends through this ministry. I have learned how to not just be a “Sunday church-goer” but an everyday, self-feeder. Though it has not all been easy, I have been unlearning the lies that I have told myself for 3 years and begun truly fighting for that A1 mentality. With an A1 mentality, He is teaching me to be bold in my life and bold in the name of Jesus Christ. In this season of being bold, I came across World Race. I believe with my whole heart that He is now sending me to do what I longed to do two years ago, and for me to tell everyone I meet that chains fall when you learn to live for an Audience of One.
-A
